


the annoying drill

by yanai (oddfiend)



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Canon Trans Character, Cussing, Everyone Is Gay, M/M, Parent Dracule Mihawk, Perona And Roronoa Zoro Are Siblings, Threesome - M/M/M, ohmygod they were neighbors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:21:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28683996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddfiend/pseuds/yanai
Summary: Just your usual neighborhood shenanigans: the annoyingly loud renovations and the ever so annoying new neighbor. Add one tired Sanji to get a recipe for disaster.
Relationships: Eustass Kid/Monkey D. Luffy/Trafalgar D. Water Law, Koala/Sabo (One Piece), Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 25
Kudos: 74





	1. side.SANJI: Day 1; 10 am

**Author's Note:**

> I hate it when neighbors renovate their flats by drilling. And this Saturday one fucking genius decided it was a good fucking time to _drill_.
> 
> Major thanks to [Key](//archiveofourown.com/users/Smol_Fatale) on the ZS discord server for beta-reading the first chapter♥

Sanji was a tolerant person for all he cared, you see. He was forgiving even, able to understand and sympathize with whatever a person could wrong him with. Just. Not in the goddamn morning. And _especially_ not after an exhausting shift with tons of picky drunkards, changing their orders faster than a casino roulette spins. Oh, how he cravenly wished they'd spun the Russian roulette—that'd certainly wind up being far more beneficial to everyone present. That attitude didn't extend to ladies though, but you rarely see a lady in a club during a football match, especially if the league finales were underway. In other words, Sanji has the patience of a literal angel—at least that's what Iva has repeatedly said whenever Sanji's been a mere step away from murdering another guest. He _had_ to maintain his reputation at work.

Now, though. Now was a completely _different_ deal. He's at home now—an old and shitty apartment with paper thin walls—and he's goddamn tired. _Exhausted_. Even more so, Iva is far, _far away_ in his own fancy apartment, no doubt having fun with another one of his best girls—and Sanji is: _Enraged_.

 _10 am_ , says the clock, when Sanji weakly turns to face the nightstand—unable to call upon the remaining bits of strength to even raise his head off the pillow. _10 in the fucking morning_ , and he cannot even get his sleep—the infuriating sound of a drill is throbbing inside his temples, slowly but surely invoking a migraine. He whines, trying to cover his head with a pillow and for a moment, the vexatious sound disappears—only to return with what seems to be tripled force, almost staggering Sanji off of his bed.

He _waits_. And he _hopes_. Maybe, just maybe, his neighbor—whoever it was—simply wanted to put up a shelf. _At 10 fucking am_ , but okay, whatever. Okay. Sanji can get behind that. He can manage. Putting up a shelf doesn't really take much time, and if his neighbor has his hands straight, he'll be done in a span of as much as ten minutes.

Sanji evens his breath out under the pillow, off-handedly noting about the obvious advantages of his spontaneous decision in buying blackout shades—and waits. Two minutes. Five minutes. _Seven minutes_.

The silence never comes.

 _It's a fucking Monday_ , for god's sake, why is that damned neighbor even at home, doesn't he have a job to attend?

Sanji squeezes the pillow with more force, trying to cover his ears—he avoids thinking about his hair being completely messed up by the end of his sleep, but at least _he's gonna get some actual sleep_. The neighbor falls silent for solid three minutes, and Sanji has relaxed, lingering on the dreamy state of almost falling asleep—only to jump up, shrieking, because something _falls_ , and the reverberating sound of it is almost deafening. It's like something metal and heavy has fallen upon a few layers of resonating metal—it's thundering.

"What the fuck!" Sanji shouts, half hoping that'd be enough for his neighbor to hear.

The drilling resumes.

"You, _motherfucker_ " he grits his teeth, mustering just about everything he has in him to slither out of the bed and stand upright—it takes a lot, though, but with the undiluted anger riling him up he manages. He's going to show that motherfucker that _some_ people, unlike certain dumbasses, prefer to _sleep_ in the morning, instead of throwing metal ladders or playing by throwing giant metal cubes. Whatever. Sanji can even kick his ass, if needed.

He regrets his decision the same second he exits his pitch dark room into a brightly lit little hallway that connected his bedroom to a tiny cozy kitchen and the entrance—the morning sun, generously seeping through uncurtained windows forced him to cover his eyes with a hand. The drilling doesn't disappear, as he makes his way to the blanket on the back of a chair, that he's left there yesterday—the air is a bit brisk, and he feels shivers going up his bared spine, so he covers his shoulders with soft plush. He doesn't care that he's not really dressed for the occasion—the occasion of kicking his neighbor's ass, what a great celebration. If the asshole deems him weak and fragile simply because of him wearing soft pastel shorts—a gift, actually—and a blanket, well, it's neighbor's loss. Sanji is _great_ at kicking ass.

Sanji should've taken his appearance into consideration though, because it's even chillier outside of his apartment—and he still has to look for the flat undergoing the annoying renovation. He pulls down the blanket to cover more of his exposed chest, and limps towards the stairs, listening to the noise. He's soon relieved of the searching task, when he hears an argument unfolding about two floors up: about how someone can't follow their fucking directions as any normal being would without getting lost—and all that despite having a navigator set. Sanji's curious—the scolding voice is definitely that of a woman, and he half drops the idea of fighting, if he has to do it with a woman. He'd rather offer her his help, no matter how exhausted he is—so he goes there to check.

"You could've called me—" the offended voice dies down behind the sound of drilling, and Sanji ascends faster.

The door to the apparent renovated apartment is open, blocked by something resembling a worn out sports bag. Now that Sanji is on the same floor, the sound of drilling is even more aggravating. He stomps his way to the door—knowing better than to storm into someone's apartment—and he waits for the drilling to die down at least for a quick second.

"What the–" Sanji hears a male voice inside, low and raspy, closing in on the door, after he has violently knocked on the doorframe.

Sanji steps away, allowing for the door to be pushed open—showing a tall man with weirdly and unnaturally green hair.

"Who the fuck are you?" is what the man asks, instead of _apologizing_ for depriving a good, law-abiding citizen of his well-deserved sleep—and Sanji greets his teeth.

He feels more than sees how the man's gaze falls on his bared chest, and he shuffles the blanket to cover himself better.

"I'm Sanji, your neighbor from two floors down" he starts, successfully managing to drag his lips into a well-crafted customer smile. "I've come to kindly ask you to not make so damn much noise at fucking ten in the morning"

The man laughs, deep and hearty, and leans onto the door, crossing his arms on his muscled chest—Sanji doesn't admit his own gaze flickering there for a mere moment.

"In this _attire_?" the man chuckles. "I'm sorry if my renovation interrupted your morning sex?"

"My what–" Sanji gapes, completely taken aback by the sudden change of topic. He collects himself almost immediately and jabs a finger accusingly into the man's chest. "First, not my sex, but my goddamn well deserved sleep. And second, my sex life is none of your fucking business"

The chest vibrates under Sanji's finger when the man laughs again, and Sanji's _enraged_. If that fucking gorilla wants to fight, they're gonna fight—Sanji's taken down assholes twice this man's size.

" _Teddy bear"_ a sweet, low pitched voice—no doubt female—slips into the heating air around them, instantly shifting Sanji's priorities. "What is happening?"

A beautiful, _gorgeous_ pink haired woman puts a gentle hand on the man's forearm, peeking behind his back—her eyes are studying Sanji for a moment, and he backs up a little, suddenly feeling hyper aware of the fact that he's left his apartment without proper clothes. He tries to extend his blanket to his knees, looking away from the couple for a moment.

"What do you need here? Go sort your own shit" the man grumbles—his laughing mood is there no more—and he shakes her hand off, which irks Sanji, because how can he behave like that with such a fascinating woman.

"I've called dad, and he's gonna be here in an hour" the woman disregards Sanji almost immediately, and partly—he's grateful, because he's literally half naked, if sleeping shorts counts for appropriate clothing.

"Not that fucker" the man borderline whines, running a hand over his face. "Doesn't he have anything better to do"

He turns to his unwanted guest, surprised that he's still there, and his eyes widen.

"You better behave, _teddy bear_ " she laughs lightly, and disappears inside the flat, moving so smoothly it feels as if she's been soaring above the floor.

"Need anything else?" judging by the irritated expression on his face, his girlfriend's father is someone to to better not mess with, which is somehow pacifying, knowing that the fucker will soon gets his ass kicked.

It's also the first time Sanji looks the man directly in the face, noticing a lacerated scar over his left eye—his iris is whitish, in stark contrast to his right eye, which is bright ochre bordering with golden. Sanji blinks, shaking off the fascination and narrows his eyes at the man.

"Just tone the fuck down your fucking _renovations_ , moron" he hisses. "Some people do actually like to sleep in the fucking morning, y'know"

Sanji then turns around, stomping away to the stairs to leave the floor, when he hears a tired "Just buy some fucking ear plugs, fucking pervert, and get off my dick", closely followed by a sound of metal clattering and then something _heavy_ hitting the floor. Before he can turn around again to retort, though, the door is slammed shut.

Sanji has enough of his fucking pride to not knock on the door again. _Oh, no,_ he's gonna get back at this motherfucker another way.


	2. side.ZORO: Day 1; 8 am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not everything is the way it seems. Especially with the Dracule family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can pry Perona & Zoro siblings from my cold dead fingers. ♥

Zoro has been feeling on edge since the early morning—today is finally the day he gets to start working on his very own apartment. He's never expected it to be so exciting—getting into all these preparations, ordering furniture, overlooking the rough decorative finish, _finally moving in_. Zoro's been saving up for his dream-home since he's turned sixteen; he's even managed to get a part-time job before coming of age and all—for the dream. Even after he's served in the military, it hasn't become easier—apparently capitalism's made buying an apartment an impossible task for anyone under 100. Zoro's been living on a tight budget for the last few years after resignation, so much he's chosen to experience the worst part of living with his immediate family— _he had to survive Perona, of all things._

Even so, the excitement of the first day in his new place kept him going through—especially when the navigator Perona'd given him was constantly pointing to the wrong direction, leading him further away. He just ditched it in the end and trusted his own sense of direction—and finally got to the apartment building. With all of the hustle it took him a bit more time than he estimated, but what did it matter when he could finally look out of his own window or lie down on his own floor and not anticipate Perona kicking his shin or his father spilling wine over him because he hadn't noticed him, being fully engaged in a video conversation with that redhead businessman. Zoro just has to make sure Perona doesn't have a key to his apartment—she'd definitely come and make it her living space too. Especially since he's bought a rather _big_ apartment. He didn't work his ass out—literally—to once again be sharing a space with his sister.

 _You, dumbass of a brother!_ she screamed at him over the phone, once he finally got to the flat at an ungodly hour of 8 in the morning—it didn't help that he'd been up since 5, and without a nap he was getting all the more irritated.

"What now?" he sighed, looking around his soon-to-be bedroom and thinking where to put his bed.

 _For starters, dear brother, tell me why the hell are you still by that café three blocks down from your house?_ she sounds annoyed, like she always does whenever he—by her own words—gets lost. Zoro knows full well he doesn't get lost, and it's really beyond his understanding why everyone keeps telling him the same thing over and over again.

"I'm at home" and it feels so good to say that— _home_ —so he allows a little smile to bloom on his lips.

 _Why'd'ya— Wait.. Don't tell me_ , she gasps, betrayed, and Zoro has to fight an urge to hang up on his sister, but unfortunately, he knows better—she's gonna complain to their father, and he _really_ doesn't want to deal with Mihawk now. _Did you throw out the navigator I bought you? It's fucking expensive!_

Zoro knows he's fucked—he should have just turned it off instead of impulsively throwing it into the garbage by that café he'd passed three times precisely because of that damned navigator. He then took a break there for a morning espresso, becoming an involuntary witness to a cute but also hilarious scene: a tall—god, _his legs_ —and pretty blonde guy was fawning over the brunette cashier, while she was preparing his ordered cheesecake and simultaneously scolding him for something as well as avoiding his obvious advances. Zoro quietly laughed into his cup at this, couldn't help thinking about how this blondie would look _so much better_ fawning over a guy, but oh well—other people's sexualities were none of Zoro's business. He had his fair share of shit while figuring out his own.

"No?" he tries, half hoping it'd work for Perona—she's great at telling his lies since their childhood.

 _I'm coming. Get your fucking coffin ready, teddy bear,_ and with that she hangs up.

Zoro uses all his might to resist the urge to throw his phone through the window—it's a gift, after all. Still, he knows whenever Perona starts calling him a 'teddy bear' means she's either angry or bitchy—or both. He slumps down the wall with a drawled out "Fu-uck" because Perona coming means no closed door can really stop her, and if she's coming— _she's coming_. That's what them— _Dracules_ —had in common: if they set their mind on something, they die but follow through with it. Obstinate, you may call it—Zoro prefers _determined_. In the end that's basically how he's got his own flat.

Perona comes after more than an hour—Zoro wasn't counting, having fallen asleep out of tiredness not long after their call ended. From the fact that he's waken up by her kick, he discerns that she has, in fact, copied his key—he'd do that too, in secret, to be able to check on her from time to time, if she ever decides to leave their father.

"I'd kick your ass, darling, but then I'd inherit this ugly flat and I'd really prefer it furnished" she skepticizes, looking down on him, completely neglecting his 'Bold of you to assume I've included you in my will' and kicks him in the ass again. "Get your ass up, _teddy bear_ "

When he finally opens his eyes, looking fatigue as ever, she pushes a coffee cup into his hands—from that one café thirty minutes away from his apartment building, and the coffee is surprisingly still hot, like she's got it no longer than five minutes ago. Must've used the taxi then—she's also wearing her high heels, and she prefers to not drive in them.

"That's not a very cute language you use there, sis" he chuckles, sipping his coffee. Perona, of course, kicks him again. "Hey!"

"You're ugly, you don't deserve cute language" she mocks him, sticking her tongue out.

"I'm _literally_ your brother" he rolls his golden-ish eyes at his sister, reminding Perona of her own amber irises—the heritage passed down from their father Mihawk, who's known among military as the 'Hawk-eye' specifically for the color of his eyes. And his sniper precision—but that's secondary. "If I'm ugly, then you're—"

"Fuck off" she sticks her tongue out like a child—she's almost thirty, for god's sake—and waves her hand in dismissal of him. "Have you decided on what to do today?"

"Sleep" he yawns, despite finishing half of his cup.

"Idiot! You don't even have a bed" she gestures over his empty bedroom, laughing. "Did you even order it?"

Zoro shakes his head, thinking about how he doesn't actually want to do anything at all—but now that Perona's here, he doesn't really have a choice anymore.

" _I-di-ot!_ " she kicks his side punctuating every syllable, and he chokes, swallowing—only when he looks up at her, skeptical, she finally stops. "Gimme your laptop, I'll do it. Also! Open the door, I've ordered some food"

"Why?" he stands up _really_ _slowly_ , clutching his dear coffee—all the while Perona stares him down incredulously.

"Because I know you have dumbass eating habits" she calls after him, when Zoro exits his soon-to-be bedroom to stride down the hallway to open the door—and as it starts closing, he finds the closest bag to block it, and it just happens to be a bag full his weights.

"I don't"

"Yeah, then what do you call going out to buy some instant noodles and beer" she peeks out of the room, tapping her finger on her lips. "You would also _get lost_ doing that"

She follows Zoro into another room—it's more lit, facing the area with lower-floor buildings. Zoro sits on some mats, narrowing his eyes at Perona, who's tasked herself with opening the window—she likes fresh air, after all.

"I don't get lost. Stop saying that" he is _tired_ of hearing accusals—but it's not like his sister cares.

The outside noise fills the room, once she's succeeded—it also gets a bit chilly, so she shuffles her cute overcoat. "Is this your future office?"

Zoro nods, and she leaves to his soon-to-become lounge—that he plans to join with the kitchen; after all, he doesn't really cook and the most he needs being a microwave and an boiler for water—to get the drill.

"Hey" he checks his watch. "It's 10 am. People may be sleeping"

Zoro wasn't actually planning to do any noisy renovations until well into the afternoon—and Perona once again didn't seem like a caring one. They were different, after all—despite being raised by a single father. _Well_ , not exactly single, but they all preferred to avoid mentioning their father's apparent infatuation with a certain redhead businessman.

Even their sleeping schedules are different: all kind of birds, as they say. Perona is an obvious lark, a _very_ early person—sometimes Zoro would wake up at 4 am because of a terrible hangover and find her awake and actively doing something. On the opposite, their father Mihawk is clearly an owl—one that you'd see deep into the night sitting in the kitchen, quietly wheezing at an old YouTube video with a mug of triple espresso. Zoro himself is more of a pigeon, if that's even a word to describe a sleeping schedule—he could be seen sleeping at any time of the day and be found awake at odd hours at night. He also gets to witness his family waking up and going to sleep sometimes.

" _Whatever_ "

He rolls his eyes. "Why'd'you call my training room an office, though?"

"Because that's what you do for a living? You're a fitness trainer, after all" she answers, looking around the room and visibly calculating something in her head. "Okay, I'll put the desk here"

Zoro looks at the place she pointed to and squints at its close proximity to the window—meaning he will have to deal with the irritating rays of morning sun, if he happens to stay by the laptop until the sunrise. "Maybe not by the window?"

Perona turns to him and smiles, turning on the drilling machine—Zoro's whine disappears into the noise. He winces at the sound, getting a grimace in return and leaves for the lounge, where he stores all of the boxes with furniture. He can't help jolting when the drill hits the wall—the sound is aggravating—and Zoro mentally apologizes to anyone who's still at home at this early hour and has to endure the audial torture. Sighing in despair at having forgotten to charge his earphones, Zoro shuffles through the boxes, looking for the attachable desk that he's ordered a few days prior—once he finds it, he returns to the room and hands it to Perona, extending his freed hand with a "Give me the drill", but she laughs, stopping for a second to retort with a "What, now you want to drill a hole to your neighbors?", and resumes her doing. He has no other choice but to give up, taking a seat in the further corner of the room to unpack the desk.

"Hey, Rona" he calls loudly, noticing her phone screen light up with a call, but she doesn't react, so he tries again, " _Rona!_ "

Perona tilts her head at him, clearly irritated, and when he pulls her phone up to show her the screen, she nods, allowing him to answer it for her—it happens to be the delivery man, who's notifying him of his arrival; Zoro puts the unpacked desk aside, inclining it onto the wall, and goes to the door to get the food.

"It's been paid online, no additional charges required" says the delivery man, and when he hands the bags to Zoro, they are both startled by the thundering sound of something falling—Perona's turned off the drill a few moments earlier, and she shrieks too, surprised.

"Could you not do that, Roro!" she tries to smack him on the head just as he enters the room with a bag of food, but he swiftly ducks—enough damage done for one day.

The source of the crash turns out to be a fallen desk, that has apparently slithered down the wall and hit the floor—Zoro rolls his eyes, placing the bags down, delving into it to check the food. He immediately notices a medium sized pack of onigiri, and smiles—Perona would, of course, know his favorite food. Once she finishes drilling another hole—apparently to another universe, by the amount of them—he asks her, where she's managed to find a Japanese style food around here.

"It's literally next block" she stares him down, incredulously, and Zoro instantly knows she's gonna start lecturing him about the navigator. _Jesus Christ_. "You would've known, if you followed the directions I gave you"

Zoro tries to ignore her, because it's _tiresome_ —it doesn't stop Perona, and her voice gets louder and higher, borderline hysterical. "I gave you a fucking _navigator_! And you threw it into the garbage!"

"It wasn't helping! I've passed that café over there _three_ times because of your stupid device" he retorts.

"The café you're talking about is three blocks away! You wouldn't fucking get lost if you've followed directions like _a normal fucking human being_!" she points the tip of the drill at him accusingly, making him instinctively back away.

He doesn't really anticipate another hole in his chest—a stupid scar over his whole torso from a stupid childhood fight with his father is quite enough of a memento, thank you very much.

"Hey, I—" he starts, but is cut abruptly when she relocates the drill and turns it on again, while looking him directly in the eyes.

 _Goddamn her designer skills_ , Zoro thinks, dismissing the fight—it's not worth the nerve to try and argue with Perona. Stubbornness runs in the family, after all. Instead, he decides to check out the desk—whether it got damaged by the fall or not. Perona's phone starts ringing again, and this time he sees the caller's ID, deciding to shove it into his sister's face—it's her girlfriend, after all, so she has to deal with it herself.

She hums, taking the phone and giving him the drill—then exits to the hallway, and he can't hear her for a few moments, but then she screams, agitated "You could've called me—" and angrily stomps back into the room, snatching the machinery out of Zoro's hands. "Of course, why would she tell me! Who even am I, right, Roro?" and he doesn't say anything but pats her on the back. More than anyone he knows just how dangerous it can be to get on Perona's bad side, even though she looks far less threatening than Zoro or Mihawk.

"What the—" is the only reaction he can manage when he hears a knocking on the door—he looks out of the room, noticing a shadow outside his apartment, thinking how he's forgotten to lock the door.

He's even _more_ surprised, when he sees that the one standing before his door—it's none other than the blond guy with _the legs_ , and he's visibly angry, but also: _Naked_.

Well, almost naked, but Zoro sees enough of the bared skin, to feel just a little bit better—he might've been alone for far too long, to be checking out a man he's just met. He understands that he's blurted something when the blondie plasters a fake smile on his lips—Zoro checks them out too—and says his name. For a moment, he appreciates the exotic sound of it— _Sanji_ —but then the blondie starts politely cursing at him, and Zoro can't help but laugh.

"In this _attire_?" he uses the word Perona's always used to describe his aesthetic choices in clothing, and she _always_ means to be mean—and he does so too now. Just a little, _but still_. "I'm sorry, have my renovations interrupted your morning sex?"

Zoro notices the cheeks of the blondie immediately reddening and _it's kind of cute_ , but he chases the thought away—he's not known to fall in love at first sight. That's also stupid, because who even falls in love simply by looking at a person? Definitely not Zoro, he needs to at least know the guy to feel something even remotely close to affection.

"My what—" is what the guy stutters and—on the second thought, is there really anything bad with love at first sight?

The blondie gets flustered so easily it makes Zoro smile in spite of himself—and then he feels a firm finger pressing directly over his scar, and its thin skin is highly sensitive, for fuck's sake which forces a shiver down his spine. And then—he feels Perona getting closer. Of course, _of course_ she wouldn't leave the situation out of her attention.

" _Teddy bear_ " is what she calls him, because he should've expected her to be a bitch and pretend to be his girlfriend in front of the guy—she _must_ hate him, because she does that _every_ time with a guy his type, and in the end, they fall for that and retreat.

The unwanted guest actually has the audacity to _brighten up_ at the sight of his sister, and Zoro thinks bitterly that the guy's definitely straight. He can't help lashing out at his sister a bit, though she can bear with it—he's never the one to raise his voice, more so outright curse, but he's irrationally upset and annoyed, so he bites at her with a jab. From the corner of his eye he notices the blondie wince at his words, and it unsettles him even more.

"I've called dad" she says, and it kills his barely there mood entirely—dealing with their father was not in his plans for today.

It's not like Zoro hates the man—of course no, they're just... Let's say they have _clashing_ personalities. And completely disparate views on _everything_. Yeah. It's safe to say they argue constantly—which is a part of the reason why he wanted to move out so badly.

"Need anything else?" he turns back to the blond guest, who's staring directly at him—at his eye, to be precise, but Zoro ignores it.

He's come to terms with the way he attracts attention: you cannot sport a ragged scar over your damaged eye and not expect people to stare at it. Most people also considered him weak because of it—well, their loss.

The man spits venom at him in return, and since Perona has already left, Zoro concludes it's because the blond guy doesn't have to put up a façade for a woman anymore—and it actually upsets ~~and kind of offends~~ Zoro, because the guy is pretty good looking, also _his legs_ , and Zoro wouldn't be opposed to know him better. Except now he is.

"Get off my dick" leaves his lips faster than he recognizes, mentally kicking himself for acting like a bitch too, since the guy hasn't actually done anything wrong—Zoro himself would go fight an asshole over an early morning noise, so he could actually get behind his anger. He's just— _upset_ , okay? And he _hates_ being upset, more so admit to being upset. So he gets angry. Zoro shuts the door before he can engage the guy to a verbal fight—physical fight would be really good just about now, but the tiny though toned body is obviously not fit to fight with an ex-military.

"Did you _have_ to do it? he asks, following Perona into his training room. "Why can't you just let me flirt _for once_?"

"I just checked him out" she says in the voice of a literal angel. "You've seen his reaction yourself—he's clearly into girls"

Zoro sighs a "Yeah, I know", joining her by the food bags and grabs his onigiri pack from her outstretched hand. "He's fine tho"

Perona nudges him to sit down with her, "Definitely your type. No luck this time"

"Why did you call Mihawk?" Zoro grumbles, barely dictinguishable over his munching.

"Ha, I actually didn't. Just wanted to fuck with you" she smiles widely, flipping him off. "I can though, if you need"

Zoro shots a quick "No, thanks" before she hits his shoulder so he follows through with "Rona, you, little bitch!"

"I'm older than you, Roro!" she says right before Zoro's phone starts ringing. "Oh! It's Lulu!"

"Yo, Luffy" he greets his best friend, putting him on the speaker—Perona echoes him.

 _Zoro! Rona! Where are you?_ shouts Luffy over the phone, making both of them flinch—he's loud and all over the place without even actually being present.

"We're at my place"

 _I'm here, but it's only your old hawk-guy_ , they both hear a faint protest of their father somewhere in the back of the call—no matter how long they know each other, Luffy's never actually cared to memorize their father's name, even when he's served under him in the army.

"Luffy. My _new_ place" Zoro runs a hand over his face, because of course his best friend would forget that he's actually bought an apartment.

_Oh! Should've said so! I'm coming._

Zoro doesn't actually see a point in saying "I did" but he does, but goes completely ignored by Luffy, especially when Perona says "Oh, please, don't bring Ace"

 _Stupid Rona, Ace and Sabo are at work!_ he laughs, shouting his goodbyes to Mihawk. _They'll come later_.

Perona looks at Zoro with pity, and he waves at her—so what if he had a crush on Sabo when he was fifteen? He's twenty seven now, kids crushes are a thing of the past.

"Yeah, just tell them to bring beer" Zoro sighs.

 _You got that!_ Luffy shouts, hanging up.

"Are you really okay with Sabo?" is what Perona asks right after he turns off his screen.

Zoro looks at her incredulously, almost rolling his eyes, "And how many times do you plan to ask me that?"

"But—"

"Rona, it's been _twelve_ years, and I've had _five_ different boyfriends" he puts his open hand in front of her, to stress on five with his fingers.

"Yeah, but them _all_ were blonds" she grimaces, snatching a snack out of his hands.

"Sis, that's _literally_ my type" he finally rolls his eyes at her, avoiding stealing, and shoves her with her drink. "Just like yours is girls that can kick your ass or boys that look like girls"

She narrows her eyes at him, caught red-handed, "Yeah, but your type is _oddly_ specific"

"Your point again?" Zoro tilts his head—they've had this conversation a hundred times, and she keeps bothering him with it. "Aside from blond hair they have _nothing_ in common"

"Okay, true" she admits, sipping her milkshake.

"We're good with Sabo. Besides, have you seen his wife?" she perks up immediately. "She's an angel"

"Wait. You _never_ call a woman an angel" Perona narrows her eyes. "What did she do? Buy you a life-time supply of alcohol?"

Zoro nudges his sister, making her choke. "Am I an alcoholic?"

"Yes" and with that she flips him off.

"Fuck off" Zoro chuckles, despite himself. "I call both you and Nami witches because you deserve it"

"You, dumbass!"

They engage in a little fight, bursting out laughing—Zoro finally feels better after that unlucky acquaintance with a blonde neighbor. He might have the type, but that doesn't mean he's gonna be attached to every blond guy he meets on the way, right? And anyway, he has his friends—life-long ones, which counts for everything; and also his family. He's gonna be alright.

"Drop the drilling though, sis" he says nevertheless, when both he and Perona lay on the floor, staring at the ceiling. "You've made enough holes to inhabit a rat colony already"

"Is it because you want to get on the good side of that blondie?" Perona laughs, finally standing up and dragging her brother along with her.

"No" he looks away, almost unintentionally, but oh well, who can lie in front of Perona—she can read through him like an open book.

" _Of course_ "


	3. side.SANJI: Day 1, 8 pm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji is _tired_ , but is he asked about how he feels when he has to work? Even if he is, he'll still roll his eyes and get to work—he's a workaholic like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Introducing (again) Sanji the Bartender and the co-owner of the club; and his colleagues—where has he made a wrong turn to actually decide to run a business with his friend Ivankov? Bear with me, Sanji's chapters are short for a reason >.>

Coming home, Sanji did the first and the most important thing he could—he jumped under the covers and into the warmth of his bed, nuzzling to the pillow. The fucking building was freezing as hell, and he was an absolute goddamn idiot to _actually_ having left his apartment in nothing but shorts. Sanji looks up at the nightstand, checking the time—almost 11 am. He will be generally fucked up before his shift, but he still has to get some actual sleep—especially since the hell born drilling has finally stopped.

Sanji smiled to himself, thinking about the beautiful girl he met earlier, and how he apparently scolded her boyfriend so that he would stop the drilling—Sanji, as usual, was right about how the girls were generally better than men, just as he had been thinking since his childhood.

He was awoken to a blaring alarm a blasphemously few hours later, feeling exceptionally fucked up—and he still had to scramble himself off of the warm and cozy bed to start getting ready for work: there is no way Iva will let him off the hook, especially since he is going to have a few days off after today. He wouldn't allow himself to slack off either, since the club was partly his establishment too and he actually wanted it to be successful.

"Fu-uck" he whines nevertheless, rubbing his eyes and faintly wishing the time would turn itself back and give him another nine hours to sleep. Or _more_.

_San-kyun, good morning_ , is what greeted him, when he lazily swiped up, accepting Iva's call.

" _Morning_ " he mocked his business partner in a funny voice, mirroring his cheerful demeanor without actually feeling it. "Any news?"

He stared at his cup of a _very black_ coffee for a long moment, before bringing it to his lips to sip—he doesn't even discern the scalding beverage hitting his lips at first, only to start spitting and cursing out of pain.

_We're hosting a party tonight!_ Iva chirps excitedly once Sanji feels like talking again—he's been laughing all the way through Sanji's cursing spree.

He whines, exhaustion clear in the air. _Of, goddamn, course_ , he will have to work his ass off on the day he hasn't had enough sleep—that's just how his life worked. He has long since stopped questioning his luck, probably somewhere since his own birth to a shitty family.

"Great. Siri, schedule the euthanasia for 10 pm today, please" Sanji fussed, because he was having none of Iva's cheerful shit. He is too tired to function properly, yet alone be in a good mood.

_Oh, San-kyun, why are you so pissed?_ Iva coos, going all motherly-care on him. _Do you need my girls to help you feel better?_

"Please. I'm fine" he replies, because as under loved as Sanji's felt, he never needed anyone's pity—he's a fucking man for fuck's sake and he can take care of himself.

_If you say so, darling,_ babbles Iva and hangs up, with a short reminder to be on time—not like Sanji needs it, he's the owner too, after all.

What Sanji doesn't expect, leaving the pleasant warmth of the shower, is the blaring shitty music that resonates throughout the building. He passes a glance to the wall clock the landlord forced him to keep, and amusedly notes that it's already 8 pm. He kinda has a hunch on just who might be the reason behind this blaring hell—because he's been living a quiet life in a quiet household up until that green haired bastard's showed up. No one has _actually_ had any renovations for the past few years Sanji has been renting this shitty apartment. Sanji sighs, because right now he doesn't have any actual nerve cell left to go fight again—especially after embarrassing himself like he's done in the morning—and also because he's heading out soon, so he decides to do his best and ignore the low quality rock music that banged around him. The idiot's got just as idiotic taste in music—what's surprising about that though.

Sanji ruffled through his wardrobe, opting for something a little less casual—with a bit tighter jeans and a bit more revealing shirt. A party means he has to attract as much people to the bar as he can, and he uses his natural born charisma and good looks that he knows he has—and he's actually putting in the effort to keep it up. Looking around the space, he thinks a little sourly how he doesn't want to walk all the way to the club because of his extreme tiredness—so he opts for the cab instead. Sometimes you just have to treat yourself to this kind of stuff and it's not like Sanji can't actually spare some money on comfort, he just usually prefers not to in favor of his savings. The time it takes to get to the club by car at this hour is considerably less than the time it takes by foot, which allows Sanji to have a cigarette before going out.

He goes to his bedroom, shuffles the curtains open and blindly searches the windowsill for a pack he knows there is—he's tucked one at every corner he might need it, except the bathroom, because what the fuck—and bites on the filter, slapping his pockets to look for the lighter. He is grateful to his landlord, who's actually allowed him to smoke anywhere in the apartment as long as he doesn't set the fire alarm off, which he, indeed, avoided.

Sanji's dragged the bar stool he had in his room closer to the opened now window and finally lit the cigarette, allowing the bitter taste to fill his lungs and softly exhaled, watching the smoke rise—when his attention was swiftly grabbed by a noise from outside.

"Zoro! You're a dumbass! We are late!" was the shout that pierced through the blaring music—which got even louder once he looked outside, meaning that the windows of the party apartment were actually opened.

Sanji lowered his gaze to where the shout came from, catching a sight of two men—one of them with suspiciously familiar green hair—and watched as they were trying to get the other off his feet by bumping into the sides, and all that while also holding a too-heavy-for-one-person amount of bags in both hands. The clattering of the glass bottles inside those bags could be heard even on Sanji's fifth floor—or maybe he just listened a bit closely.

"They're here already, look up!" the dark haired man that walked beside the green idiot nudged him on the side with his elbow and nodded up—out of reflex, Sanji ducked away from the sight when the green haired looked up.

It's not like Sanji shied away from a potential fight—oh, no, he'd kick the man's ass with pleasure—but first: he has to work _a lot_ today; and second: he doesn't really have his morning's rage infused motivation to get him to do something that required lots of energy. So he just waits.

"It's your fault, Zoro, isn't it?!" he hears an unfamiliar female voice shouting over the music—as much as he wants to peek outside to look at the unfamiliar woman who apparently knew what was going on, he still doesn't really want to show his face just yet.

Sanji thinks about the name that he's heard twice already, and wonders whether that is the name of the algae head—which sounded _kinda_ cool, but he immediately reminded himself of the assholeness of that man that he got to experience in the morning. He puffs the smoke, annoyed. Once he's pretty sure those two have left, he looks out to finish his cigarette and contemplates on his idiotic cowardice.

Ivankov greets him as cheerful and excited as ever—Sanji wonders, if the man actually needs any sleep at all or is he surviving off of some drugs, that are probably prohibited. He smiles a little tiredly, but allows his business partner and friend to envelop into a hug.

"San-kyun! Why the sour face?" Iva coos, offering Sanji a lighter after the latter grumbled something illegible and took out his cigarette out. "We've got a good one today!"

Sanji looks up at him—Iva's on his heels again, otherwise they are the same height—and wriggles his eyebrow, silently asking to continue.

"My friend called and asked to book the club! He said his brother got proposed to" Iva's voice became all conspiring and whispering which was completely stupid, so Sanji nudged him.

"Hey!"

The same moment another person's face appeared from behind the doors, and Sanji nodded to him in greetings. Inazuma waved for them to get inside, which they did—thankfully, the club they owned was not a smoke free one, on Sanji's request, of course.

"Just imagine! The whole police district will come here to celebrate the engagement!" his business partner continued to brag, all smiley and giddy. "So many muscular men, mfu-fu-fu~"

"I would very much prefer another nine hour of a good night sleep than tolerating a swarm of drunken cops" Sanji huffed, rolling his eyes.

He mentally admired the courage the woman had to propose to the guy, and scolded him for being a coward and not propose first.

"Should I make you one of my _specials_?" Inazuma offered, tilting his head.

He was already heading towards his own bar zone—they had two on each side of the club, making it easier for the drunken people to say goodbye to the money in exchange for some more alcohol and not having to cross the usually packed dance floor. Sanji shot his colleague a glance and nodded—Inazuma's specials were infused with a crazy amount of caffeine and they always kept them going throughout the night.

"Do you know how many?" he asks, slowly walking up to his own bar zone.

"Who knows? I assume the whole police district? Sabo also said that the friends of the other fiancé might come too" Iva shrugged. "And his other brother is invited, and he has a crazy ton of friends who know both men"

"Wait, _men_? You mean like–.. Two guys?" Sanji sounds appalled, because it's not often you see a policeman—and apparently a _high ranking_ one—being openly gay these days, when homosexuality is still sorta frowned upon.

"Oh, yeah!" Iva, without a doubt, sounds enthusiastic. "Funny tho, how Sabo is actually the only straight guy among his brothers!"

Inazuma strode from his bar to Sanji's, holding a tall glass with something colorful, and handed it to his colleague, saying "I think he once told me his younger brother dates _two_ guys?"

Ivankov laughed, nodding. Sanji's gaze followed after Inazuma's back, expecting him to return to his workplace, but he came up to Iva's side and there was something about the casualty with which he stood beside, whispering something to his boss, that made Sanji wonder—it looked like they'd finally dealt with the tension that was around them. They both seemed to struggle before with their assumed to be unrequited feelings for each other, and they both dealt with it completely different: where Inazuma overworked himself to the point of Chopper—Sanji's doctor friend—having to actually force him into hospitalization, Ivankov tried to forget himself in his "girls" who actually were call boys. From what Sanji knew, they were friends since university and neither wanted to ruin the relationship they had, being unsure of the other's response to love confession. Sanji couldn't help but smile, noticing the way Inazuma kind of leaned into Iva's personal space and they both seemed okay with it—he was _happy_ for his friends.

"I see" he hums, sipping the cocktail. "Well, working is still better than listening to that damned neighbor's party"

"What neighbor?" momentarily picked up Ivankov, getting all curious—it's funny how he always seems to favor Sanji's private life over sharing his own.

"Don't matter" Sanji waves, dropping the topic. "Do we have what we need?"

Inazuma nods, finally parting with his now boyfriend, apparently, and starts moving back to his workplace. "Yeah, but I think Jinbe's guys might drop by later today to deliver a few boxes, we're running low on the rum"

"No shit" Sanji huffed. "Those assholes yesterday downed it like water"

He was the only one on shift yesterday, since they usually didn't have big audience on Monday's night—and because of that he actually felt like he'd done two or three shifts in one go.

"Ah, is Viola-chan coming today?" he asks later, remembering the day of the week—he's immediately delighted at the prospect of seeing his favorite dancer.

"Becca-kun hasn't called yet" admits Kurei, appearing from the service rooms behind Sanji's bar zone.

Rebecca—or as Kurei calls her Becca—is a nice to the dancer and her personal assistant of some sorts. Viola is a very popular flamenco dancer and she's usually very busy with her schedule, but she always has a free day for Sanji's club out of gratitude to him—she also favors even days of the week, when Sanji has a shift at the bar. _It goes without saying how that fact flatters him_.

"I hope she comes" Sanji sighs, a bit defeated. "She'd be my only salvation tonight"

"Pity she friend zoned you" Caroline's voice appears behind Kurei, and when they shows their face, there is a wide smile—Sanji suppresses a heavy urge to smack them in the face.

"Enough, Carol-chan" Iva waves his hand, dismissing both Kurei and Caroline, and Sanji's kinda grateful. "Get' ready y'all. We've got a long night ahead of us"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos or comments are much appreciated!♥


	4. side.ZORO: Day 1, 5 pm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no way there won't be a party if Luffy's involved. And Luffy is _always_ involved.

By the time Luffy has _actually_ managed to come to Zoro's place, the Dracule siblings have finished setting up the damned desk, which has led to Perona immediately occupying it for work purposes—she still has some unfinished projects, and as much as she loved her brother, she loved money too and work means money. She has also managed to order a bed for Zoro, knowing exactly what his measurements are—she is his sister, after all, and despite all, she cares for her little brother. Even if he's a whole ass grown up now. Zoro himself has curled up on some sport mats, having fallen into a restless sleep—he's been up and assembling his training equipment, when—

" _Zoro!_ This is _hu-u-uge_!" they heard Luffy's voice a moment before he came crushing into the room, absolutely unfazed by the way the entrance door banged off of the wall—nothing surprising, actually, and not that Zoro minded. Maybe, Perona did, if only for the sake of the door safety.

Zoro straightened from where he was bent over the abdominal bench—only to be staggered by Luffy jumping on him as a way of saying hello. They would've crashed onto the bench if not for Zoro sidestepping to avoid impact and they fell crashing to the mats.

"Hey, get off, you're heavy" Zoro complains, pushing his best friend off—Luffy is _far_ lighter, than Zoro himself, but still.

Perona quietly laughs from where she's been sitting by the window, and shifts to be able to look both at the screen of her own laptop—which she favored over her brother's, since it had all of the programs she used—and the shenanigans of her brother and his best friend.

"Oi, Rona!" greets Luffy, finally rolling off Zoro's chest—his dead body, if you ask Zoro, because he's almost gasped out his life—and stretching.

She waves at him, sparing him half a glance before returning to her work—she's been typing something really quick, making Zoro's head throb.

"So" Luffy started and the siblings exchanged a look—it meant _trouble_. "Are we gonna party today?

Zoro sighs something along "I don't care" and that makes Luffy pinch his side, engaging him in a little friendly brawl—no person would _actually_ believe those two were anything older than fifteen, more so that they served in the military and _made ranks_ _._

"Oi"

"What?! It's a _tradition_ to make a housewarming party!" he whines, starting to pinch Zoro everywhere he can manage.

Zoro rolls away from the assault, hissing when his best friend manages to pinch the sensitive skin on his shins—there are scars from his serving time there, and just as his chest those are highly sensitive to touch. "Since when do you _care_ about traditions, Luffy?"

Zoro had known Luffy since they were, like, five—and his best friend never cared for so-called traditions, as they were a part of the 'rules' he was known to defy. He had even opposed the order and rules of the army, always opting to rather do chores for half of the crew instead of following through with the orders he didn't like; there was no place on the JS Izumo that Luffy hadn't moped—Luffy had actually got under his father skin for disobeying so much that _'Ensign Monkey D.! Get your ass down on the deck!'_ became a local byword in their regiment, closely followed by _'Ensign Dracule Jr.!'_ , and honestly, it annoyed Zoro to the point of changing his last name to Roronoa, when he turned 21. It goes without saying, that this decision's pissed his father off and he's been pouting for a full year—he's been calling his son Dracule Jr. out of spite until well into his resignation. Zoro's been ignoring it on purpose, despite having to do more chores. They can't strip him off his Lieutenant Junior Grade rank for simply changing his last name, can they.

"I raise you, brother" Perona's ditched her laptop, concentrating her stare on Luffy—not trusting her hearing. "Since when do you _know_ about traditions, Lulu?"

She leaned forward, placing her elbows on the knees and connecting her fingers in front of her chin in a thoughtful expression, following every movement of Luffy—probably suspecting he's been replaced with a similar looking person for unknown purposes.

"Hmm~" Luffy pretends to be deeply in thoughts, before laughing loudly. "Tora-o told me!"

Zoro rolls his eyes, saying "Of course, trust Law to do something like this" under his breath.

Perona sighs, closing her eyes for a moment and then she says "I am _still_ deeply sorry for Law's loss of reason when he actually agreed to date Luffy" in the most consoling voice she can manage.

Zoro sighs in unison, which makes Luffy pout with a "Hey, you both!"

"Don't forget that he also dates Kid, he's been lost for a while now" Zoro points out next, waving his hand in dismissal.

"Oh, silly me" Perona slightly slaps herself on the cheek and starts laughing. "You're right, brother"

Luffy puffs his cheeks, immediately looking ten years younger and finally accurate to his mental age. "Stop harassing my boyfriends!"

"We're not?" they say in unison. "We actually don't know who to pity out of you three?" Perona adds nonchalantly.

" _Ohh~_ " Luffy stands up to climb the bench Zoro's been assembling earlier—now he's out of reach for Zoro—and drags his lips into that eerie smile he usually plasters to scare the shit out of their friend Usopp. "Shall we discuss _your_ partners then?"

"Oh, no, we're losing our cute little Lulu" Perona whispers, covering her mouth in pretend shock. "Law's bitching is rubbing on him"

Zoro shrugs, laying flat against the mats and closes his eyes, "I don't have one anyway"

He should have known better than to say that, because he physically registered the momentary head whip on Perona's side—the same time as Luffy cooed "Poor Zoro"

"Actually, Lulu" she starts, wishfully ignoring Zoro's _'Rona, no'_ and Luffy turns to her in full attention—and when something interests Luffy, there's no way the topic will be dropped. "There's this blondie who came to bitch at us this morning"

" _Oh?_ " and with that coming from Luffy, Zoro knows, he's done for.

"You both are no longer welcomed here" he points to the door and the hallway behind it. "Get the hell out"

"I have a key" Perona shrugs nonchalantly.

Luffy shoots a fist in the air with a happy "I can break windows!"

"Please, don't!" they say in unison, cringing from a vivid memory of one of their trips. "Ace will have to put you out of prison again"

The story behind that exclamation was one of the most hilarious among their "family" trips—and that mean _a lot_ , considering their group consisted of clowns, by Perona's very wise words. That winter they decided to go skiing and snowboarding to another prefecture, and everything was going _outstandingly_ well up until the moment when Luffy noticed the window washers working on a stupidly tall building—he's always too preoccupied with something to catch a glimpse of them in their hometown—and he, of course, wanted to try it out, so he did. They all found out about his achievements, when Ace received a call from the local police department, asking if he, by any chance, knew a person going by the name of a self-proclaimed Lieutenant Junior Grade of Japan Maritime Self-Defense Forces Monkey D. Luffy with Luffy himself screaming in the background of the call. Luffy, of course, didn't have his ID on him, so the policemen had no way to justify how the cleaned up guy in suit from the database was the same as the one sitting at their precinct—with hair sticking in all sorts of directions, wild eyes and bruises all over his face, because he fell from his snowboard a day before.

"And I don't want to hear Sabo bitching about how we allowed you to be anywhere in the air" Perona adds in an exhausted manner.

Being the First Lieutenant of the Air Defense Command, Sabo was excruciatingly meticulous about Luffy being anywhere near high buildings—that might come from their childhood experience with parachute jumping, when Luffy had almost missed the moment to deploy the parachute and skydived a bit more than necessary, making Sabo's heart flip. Zoro's learned about that when they went to the flight school together, when Luffy was banned from the parachute practice on a command from a higher ranking officer—he had sneaked into the airplane anyway, so there went Sabo's worrying.

"And _I_ don't want to hear that witch whine about money loss" Zoro's finished their accusations with an eye roll.

They had to pay a good fortune from the trip budget to cover for Luffy's commotion, and they didn't hear the end of it until Koala took pity on her then-boyfriend—who had it the hardest—and took the girls to clothes shopping.

"See?" Luffy smiles smugly. "All the more reasons to let me stay"

He flashed his friends a wide smile, scratching his nape, and Zoro gritted a "Fine", unable to fight against it.

"So, the blondie!" continues Perona, and Luffy's attention is on her again. "Zoro's actually got excited"

Zoro mumbled a "I did not", turning away, embarrassed.

Perona stares at him in actual disbelief, like her brother has died and got resurrected all of a sudden. "Really?"

Luffy laughs, watching the exchange and then there are visible shining around him, which makes both Dracules wince, because—

"Zoro! Will you ask him out?"

"No, obviously" he reacts, not showing his face to the two—maybe it burns a little, but Zoro's not telling.

"Why!" Luffy jumps off of the bench, in one move head-butting Zoro. "You're alone since that... Hmmm... _Cabbage_ dumped you!"

"It's Cavendish" Perona corrects, but she should know there's no point in that—Luffy has no respect for those, who dumped his best friend.

"Yeah, like I said, _Cabbage_ " Luffy gives her a stare. "It's been a year!"

Zoro shoots him a deadpan stare. "Your point?"

"You have to date someone!" is what Luffy say, when he nudges his best friend.

No one could quite understand that, but ever since Luffy eloped with both Law and Kid he got super invested in this kind of stuff—he had to make sure that his brothers and all of his friends were as happy in the relationship as he was, and it didn't help that Zoro was _terrible_ at relationships. Every boyfriend he had ever dated, had dumped him for one reason or another, which always made Luffy furious. It wasn't like Zoro was heartbroken by those breakups anyway—he had a thing for blondes, yes, but he kinda understood that he was not the person they'd wanted him to be. Just a gut feeling.

"I don't" he says, because he really doesn't—he has to finish on his apartment, visit his childhood friend Kuina, who he's promised to see two years ago, and after that—he'll think of something. Maybe he'll return to his position in the JMSDF, they've said JS Izumo will be done in two years.

Luffy, though, is having none of Zoro's lone wolf shit, because he jumps up, looping a hand over Zoro's forearm and drags him along with a "Let's go talk to that blondie!"

"LUFFY, NO"

"Come on!" Luffy shouts in unison with Perona, who's visibly having fun—she knows better than anyone that the blondie in question is straight, having witnessed it first-hand, but it's always fun to see her brother be embarrassed and out of place.

Luffy tugs on his forearm, dragging him along, all while Zoro does his best to bulldoze the movement before they reach the entrance door.

"I don't know where he lives" he tries to reason with Luffy—which has never been a great option, or even a working one.

Perona, of course, feels obligated to help and she says "It's two floors down"

"Shut it, Rona!" Zoro says too late, because Luffy notes that and drags him even harder. "Luffy, _no_ "

Maybe there is something in his voice that makes his friend actually listen to him, because he halts and turns to him with a 'Why' written all across his face.

"He's sleeping" Zoro says casually, as if he hasn't remembered a random fact about a random guy.

"We can wake him up?" he offers, but he is not moving in the direction of the door anyway.

Zoro shakes his head, sighing, and pulls Luffy back into the room—he notices a considerable pout on Perona's side and flips her off.

"Sit ya ass down" Zoro says, shaking the hands off himself. "We'll have a party, okay"

It is a constant for Luffy—if you want his attention off of something, offer an alternative. So Zoro does. It's not like the housewarming party can do him any bad.

"Yahoo!" the man shoots his fists in the air, practically jumping with excitement. "I'll call Tora-o and Giza-o!"

Zoro follows as Luffy takes out his smartphone and dials his boyfriends—one of them, apparently but the other would probably be around there somewhere. Only when Luffy confirms that they both will come, with addition of Killer, Kid's best friend, who by association has become a part of their group.

"Great" says Zoro just as Luffy hangs up. "Now the party will end with violence"

"Only if you engage Killer into combat" Perona jabs.

Killer and Zoro has a history back from high school, which has come biting them both in the ass when Kid's started dating Luffy, merging their friend circles—Zoro didn't mind Law's friends, they were funny but okay, and he didn't even mind Kid's other friends like Heat or Hawkins, just not—Killer.

"I won't" Zoro hisses. "He'd do it first"

"Spoken in the wisest words of a five years old" manages Perona before wheezing with Luffy at her hilarious joke.

Zoro flips her off, "Like _you_ won't try to get on Ace's nerves the second he shows up" he smiles, looking her directly in the eyes.

"No" she straightens her back, shooting daggers in her brother's general direction. "I'm an adult unlike him"

"Was it me, then, who begged Luffy to not invite Ace?" Zoro goes va banque.

She hisses, narrowing her eyes at Zoro, "Shut up, Roro"

Luffy intermingles their staring competition with a "Zoro! I wanna eat!"

He gives up with a hmph, allowing Perona to brighten up in a rare chance of a win in the staring showdown, and looks at Luffy, "Okay, let's go find a combini or something"

"Don't get lost!" Perona advises, seeing them off to the door and before he can retort she smacks the door closed.

"Fuck off" he blurts but to a closed door—Luffy laughs.

They _did_ , in fact, get lost, because when they had walked for about five minutes, Luffy caught a glimpse of a little shop with antiques, and he dragged Zoro to look closer, seeing a great replica of Asahi Maru in a bottle—they just had to come in and buy it, both being nerds for historical Japanese marine ships. Only after Luffy was satisfied with the purchase, they managed to find a grocery shop—and then they realized that they had forgotten which way they came. Luffy asked around, and they got pointed to some direction, wandering a few blocks until they caught a glimpse of Zoro's building—Luffy kept hurrying his friend all the way.

"Do you hear it?" Luffy asks, listening closely once they have reached the vicinity of the building—he was picking up the basses that were blaring through the windows.

Luffy's face lit up—he could discern his boyfriend's favorite music from any, because the next thing Luffy blurted was "Kid's here already!"

Zoro shuffles his bags to one hand and checks the time on his smartphone—it couldn't have been more than one hour that they've been away, right?

" _Eight_ _pm_ " he voices, defeated, realizing they've been away for almost three hours.

"Zoro! You're a dumbass! We are late!" Luffy shouts, nudging him with his elbow, staggering him off his firm posture—and he's just returned half the bags to the other hand, otherwise he'd drop some of them.

He stares at Luffy exhaustedly "Why're you so sure? Maybe someone in this building just listens to the same dumbass music?" he grumbles later.

"They're here already, look up!" he says even louder, pointing to the seventh floor—where Zoro's apartment is— and there are opened windows with two silhouettes illuminated with the inside light. Zoro immediately recognizes both bodies—those are Nami and Perona, pointing at them and laughing their asses off. He also notices a swift movement in the opened window frame on the fifth floor, but he's too distracted to register it, and when he looks there to check there is nothing anymore.

"It's your fault, Zoro, isn't it?" Nami calls, high fiving Perona.

He growls, shooting them _the glance_ and follows after a laughing Luffy, who's hurrying inside. They are greeted by Usopp at the door, who smiles apologetically, allowing them on— _allowing the owner into his own flat_ —and looks over the bags they've brought. "Hi, Zoro, Luffy. That's a damn fine place you got there"

Zoro snorts—of, fucking, course. He wouldn't settle for anything less.

"Usopp! You're here!" Luffy hugs his friend, having put the bags to the side and then runs inside with a 'Tora-o! Giza-o!' which gets a loud affectionate sigh in the voice of Law, and a laugh from Kid.

Zoro rolls his eyes, taking the bags with one hand—to shake Usopp's hand, and then takes what Luffy has left into the now-free hand. He follows Luffy, all while Usopp locks the door behind him.

"Law. Kid" Zoro greets the two with a polite barely there nod—them three maintain the business-like relationship, due to being in the Japanese Self-Defense Forces—and when he lands his eyes on the blond companion of his best friend's boyfriend, he hisses " _Killer_ "

Nami laughs at the exchange, making her way towards her friend, and the second she finishes her barely hug, she puts on a serious face and says "No fighting. Or I'll kick ya both asses"

This gets her a soft chuckle from Perona and a terrified inhale from Usopp, and she salutes to them both.

"Where are Ace and Sabo?" asks Luffy, sitting his ass in between Law and Kid, looping an arm over each of them, and then looking around and not seeing his brothers. "They should be here too"

"Have you called them tho?" is what Law asks, knowing how absent-minded Luffy can be—and as if by a summon, his phone starts ringing.

Kid turns off his loudspeakers and the apartment falls into a silence for a moment.

"Sabo~" Luffy shouts into the mic, happy to hear his brother.

Nami looks at him, and says "Put him on the mic", so he does.

 _Luffy!_ Sabo greets in response, and there is an echo in Koala's voice.

"Yo! Sabo! Koala!" the greetings follow in varying voices.

 _Oh! Y'all there?_ Sabo sounds surprised—apparently, Law was right and Luffy forgot to call his brothers. _Is there a party I'm not invited to?_

"We actually wanted to call you right about now" Perona says, looking at Luffy, who just shrugs—so what if he's forgotten to call them? One of them called anyway, right? "We're doing a housewarming party for Zoro"

 _Huh? It's a day of great news,_ _apparently_ , Sabo smiles through words, and they _all_ instantly get curious—even those who don't outright show it.

"What happened?" Luffy asks, voicing everyone's thoughts.

 _Marco proposed_ , Sabo barely manages to finish his sentence before the room where everyone gather erupts with shouts, cheers and happy laughs.

"Who's Marco?" Luffy is the only one to be confused instead of being happy. "Wasn't Ace dating that pineapple guy?"

The roars change into a thundering laugh, engaging everyone, all while Law quietly snickers and pulls Luffy closer, to say "Marco _is_ the pineapple guy. It's his name"

"Oh!" Luffy drawls, understanding. "Wait..."

 _Luffy! Our brother is getting married_ , Sabo repeats, his laugh rippling through the dynamic of the smartphone.

"What?!"

"I can't with you, Luffy. The dumbest award goes to you" Nami wheezes. "Ace and Marco are getting married, okay? Like..." she pauses for a moment, thinking of a good way to explain, and then it dawns on her. "Like Koala and Sabo did! Remember the party?"

 _Yeah, the one where you and Zoro inhaled the whole catering in one go and then dived into the pool head first_ , supports Koala, laughing despite herself.

"Oh!" that seems to trigger Luffy's memories. "I remember! We're gonna have another one of these?"

"Yeah" Law replies, at the same time as Nami whines " _Hopefully not the same_ ", and everyone is laughing again.

"You've been to Sabo's wedding?" Perona whispers to her brother, quietly crossing the room to stand beside Zoro, and he nods to her carefree. "Gosh, I'm so sad I've missed it"

And then she smiles—apparently she finally lets go of her protectiveness over Zoro's first ever crush. If her brother is okay with going to the wedding of the said crush and having fun there, then she has no reason to worry anymore.

"We have to party!" says Luffy—he's a local party enabler, you see.

 _That's why I'm calling you_ , Sabo sighs. _I've asked around, and there's this one friend of mine who owns a club. He said it was okay to book for today._

"Oh? Sabo, why did you keep silent about such connections?" Nami accuses, feeling just a little bit betrayed.

She is a party girl, but she's also a known model and a weather reporter on the TV, and she is constantly searching for a place, where she can have her fun without being followed by paparazzi.

 _There wasn't an occasion_ , tries Sabo, with Koala echoing _'I didn't know it too, Nami'_ , and only when she huffs, seemingly letting go, he continues. _Besides, he's not the only owner, but he's told me it was okay and his partner wouldn't mind_.

"Then!" Nami decides for everyone, "Send us the coordinates and we'll be there shortly"

 _You got it_ , he says and Nami's phone immediately pings with a text from Koala, as does everyone's, as she sends it to the groupchat.

 _Be sure to dress accordingly!_ she then says through the dynamics and they say their goodbyes, hanging up.

"I can't believe Marco finally did it" Usopp voices, if a bit appalled. "They've been together for what now? Two years?"

Perona huffs—a few weeks before Ace started dating Marco, he had actually dumped the girl Perona had a crush on, so she is still kinds sour.

"Well" muses Nami, "Marriage _is_ an important step in a relationship"

"Ho?" Luffy takes notice, jumping up, startling both his boyfriends. "Let's get married too!"

Law keeps silent at the proposal running a hand over his face—if you know where to look, you can notice a blush blooming on his nose—and Kid outright bursts into laugh, trying to say something suspiciously similar to 'Hey, not fair! I should've been the one to propose!' making both Dracules roll their eyes.

"Luffy! You can't decide it just like that!" it's Nami and Usopp who shouts.

"Besides, I don't think triple marriage is supported by _law_ " Perona wheezes at her own pun.

"I doubt even gay marriage is legal here" Law says, shooting an exhausted glance at her. "Ace and Marco will have to get the stamp elsewhere"

"Y'all make it way bigger than it is" Zoro grumbles, having already taken a bottle of beer out of the bags without anyone noticing. "Like marriage is something sacred"

"You!" Perona turns hundred eighty in a second. "Shut you puny, little unromantic single ass"

Killer whistles at her words, which earns him a flip off by both Dracules—with different meaning, but still.

"Zoro is the only one who's single, that's why he's jealous" Usopp mentions to the side and gets Perona to join his giggles.

" _Huh?_ Like that witch over there isn't—" Zoro starts, pointing to Nami and halts mid-sentence, without finishing the thought, when he receives _the stare_.

She drags a smile over her lips, and it the eeriest of those Zoro's seen throughout his life—that means a lot, because his father is terrifying, and his sister is even _more_ terrifying. Besides, have you seen Luffy being intimidating? You better not have.

"One more word in regards of my relationship status from you, Zoro, and I will _rip_ that funny thing outta your toungue" she hisses, smiling.

"You can't do that tho, Ginger" intersects Kid. "You know how long it takes for the piercing to heal after that? That'll leave a scar too"

"I do" she turns to him, same eerie expression on her face. "Do I look like I care?"

Killer finally snaps and laughs, startling Usopp, who hasn't yet heard his laugh. "Terrifying. Why are you friends again?"

Both Zoro and Nami turn to him with unreadable expressions. " _You should talk!_ "

Killer backs away, jokingly raising his hands, when Perona clasps her hands and drags everyone's attention to herself. "Okay, okay, dumbasses. We need to dress up"

Zoro hums, taking a sip of his beer, and ignores her, to which she looks him over and shakes her head. "No, Zoro, you can't go like this"

"Hey!"

"I'm fine with this" mentions Usopp, and has both Perona and Nami evaluate his appearance, eventually deciding that he looks _passable_. He's dressed casually, jeans and a hoodie, but the clothes itself are rather expensive—and no doubt Kaya's choice.

"We need to go home" says Law, standing up and dragging Luffy along, who has already seated back. "There's no way I'm letting you both go like this"

Kid stands up on his own, looping an arm around Law's waist, and whispers something to him, forcing the man to nudge him with an elbow. Luffy takes immediate interest, perking up, and when Kid shares what he's said, the man enthusiastically nods, making Law sigh in exhausted desperation—he may have a soft spot for the two dumbasses, but sometimes they just get the best of him.

"Please, refrain from being late" Perona muses, looking then in the eyes one after the other. "We _all_ know what happens when you three get into the car unsupervised"

"Hey, Pinky!" Kid laughs, but the smile is smug—he's proud of his reputation.

Killer sighs, following the trio that has already exited the room, "I'll look after them"

They don't say goodbyes as there is no need—they all will see each other in about two hours at most. A few minutes later they hear a roaring motor of Kid's G-Class as they leave the parking lot.

"Now, brother, where are your clothes?" asks Perona, getting all business-y. Zoro rolls his eyes and gestures to the future-bedroom, sipping his beer.

Perona leaves the room, her face is scrounged as if she's calculating something and only then Zoro notices the confused stare Nami gives at him.

"Where are your earrings?" she asks, finally realizing what has been missing from her usual impression of Zoro.

He shrugs, taking a good chug of the liquor, and replies with a simple"Took out to clean", which earns him a suprised stare.

"You _have_ to wear them" she confides. "They make you look less like a criminal"

"If I might say, they actually make him look _more_ like a criminal" adds Usopp.

"Shut it. You have shit's fashion sense" Nami glares at him, pining him to a place. "I am _immensely_ thankful to Kaya for not only being your girlfriend but also your stylist"

"Hey!"

"Zoro, here" Perona appears in the doorway, clutching a few clothes in her hands, and when Zoro outstretches his arm to take them, he realizes just _what_ she has brought for him—it's his dark jeans, that he refuses to wear as they hug his leg muscles _too_ tightly, and it's not really convenient to move around in them; and his dark emerald shirt that she's forced him to buy for her birthday celebrations because her party's been color-coded.

"That's too fancy" he says, giving the clothes back to her in dismissal.

"Yes. Because the party _should_ be fancy" Perona counters and shoves the clothes into his hand. "You'll also wear that leather jacket you used to ride in"

Nami smiles, agreeing with Perona's choice, and adds "Who knows, what if you meet someone? You need to be looking the best you can"

"Right, so that they get the wrong impression of you and actually agree for a second date instead of running away" Usopp agrees and receives a glare, immediately giving up.

"Okay. Usopp, you look after him—make sure he takes a shower and wear what I gave him" Perona says with the underlying threat in her voice, which makes Usopp nod frantically, and then she turns to Nami. "Mimi, will you give me a ride to my place, please?"

The ginger haired girl smiles, extending her arm for Perona to gracefully loop her own into, and they leave the room, reaching the exit to the apartment, when Perona smiles carnivorously and turns around to look at Usopp with a "Usopp. Make him pay for the taxi". When the man eagerly nods, the girls finally leave Zoro's apartment hand in hand, heading to Nami's favorite Aperta, that awaits them in the underground parking lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing Luffy is _SO_ goddamn hard, his character is so difficult to grasp... I love Luffy tho♥  
> [Asahi Maru](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_warship_Asahi_Maru#/media/File:AsahiMaru1856.jpg) is a Japanese warship, designed after Western-style sail frigate.  
> [JS Izumo](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/JS_Izumo#/media/File:Izumo_vertrekt_uit_Yokohama_voor_deelname_aan_de_vlootschouw_2015,_-18_oktober_2015_a.jpg) is a helicopter carrier, now being converted into a light aircraft carrier; in this AU JS Izumo is a ship both Luffy and Zoro served on while they did their time in Japan Maritime Self-Defense Forces.  
> About cars tho:  
>  _G-Class_ is Kid's car, basically it's a black **Mercedes-Benz G-Class** , also known as [Geländwagen](https://vodi.su/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/Gelandewagen2.jpg).  
>  _Aperta_ is Nami's personal vehicle, which she hides from the public, it's a black with red outline [Ferrari LaFerrari Aperta](https://www.carscoops.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/12/2b1a2779-ferrari-laferrari-aperta-0.jpg).  
> If anyone's interested, Zoro doesn't drive usually— _for obvious reasons_ —but he has a blue [Yamaha YZF-R6](https://i2.wp.com/www.asphaltandrubber.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/2020-Yamaha-YZF-R6-RACE-06-scaled.jpg), which is now residing in a garage, because he's managed to get into an accident and can't find a proper mechanic to repair the motorcycle.  
> Perona's got a car too, it's a matte red [Mazda CX-3](https://www.mazda.com.au/globalassets/beyond-the-drive/2016-2018/1.-press-releases/20180828-advanced-new-mazda-cx-3/02-btd-article-cx5lifestyle-960528px.jpg).
> 
> Kudos and comments are much appreciated!♥


	5. side.SANJI: Day 1.5, 10 pm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji becomes an involuntary witness to the hell breaking loose. What else should one expect when ASL gather _all_ of their friends in one place?

As Sanji has learned a mere hour later, Viola can't make it due to some family business—she's the heiress after all, so he can't blame her. Not like he would, she was a lady and Sanji never blamed a lady for anything. Though the news has made his already shitty mood spiral down even further. He will have to deal with a shit ton of drunken men, all while having virtually none of the relief, which doesn't seem to concern his partner at all, as Ivankov has been all but happily twirling around the club, giving orders here and there—the whole establishment is buzzing with energy as everyone is in their high spirits. Well, except Sanji.

It's not only until a beautiful ginger haired lady, accompanied by a blond man with a scorched face, comes through the entrance doors, that Sanji stars paying attention—and as Sanji has immediately leaned, they both are Iva's friends, as he has dashed in their direction with a happy "Sabo! Koala!" and enveloped them into a tight bear hug, which they've returned.

"I had assumed you'd be geared up" Sanji's overheard on their conversation as they have passed him—he wished he'd not heard Iva replying with a "I'll show you everything about my gear, sweetheart", but Sanji's attention had been all but taken as the ginger haired lady, who he assumed to be Koala, had come up to him, ordering a Dry Martini to kick off the evening.

"May I be of any other assistance to the gorgeous lady?" he offered her a smile, immediately busing himself with the bottles to make the drink.

He noticed her scanning him, narrowing her dazzling blue eyes, and then she shook her head, looking away—Sanji tried to, but couldn't help but glance over her outfit, feeling a little bit cheeky. Koala was dressed in a nice short lilac dress, clearly high fashion and complimenting her long toned legs, covered with a black lace see-through stockings up until her thigh—she's noticed him staring, and tilted her hear to the side in an unreadable manner, chuckling under her breath.

"Found what you were looking for?" she asked, implying, and Sanji backed away embarrassed from being _too_ obvious.

He quickly recovered though with "My apologies, miss" and bowed to her before handing her the drink she ordered.

Koala smiles, taking the glass and before trying her drink, she laughs a little, flashing her wedding ring, "I usually go by Madame Goa now, but _miss_ sounds nice. Just don't mention it to Sabo-kun, he's gonna go haywire"

"Of course, m'lady" Sanji returns the smile, and they manage to chat about nothing in particular, before the entrance doors blast open and a long series of loud voices quickly infiltrate the quiet atmosphere.

There's a baritone, lamenting about the absence of music—Sanji reminds himself to text their DJ to hurry—a few voices of the same pitch agreeing with the man; and then a stunning contralto shouting "We're gonna set this party straight!", with a loud cheering in succession, and Sanji's eyes chase after a lady, moving ever so gracefully towards the stage, then jumping on it with practiced ease.

"Who's the fucker who runs this place?!" she shouts out, and instead of answering Sanji finds himself mesmerized by the classic purple bob cut, cupping a pretty face, eyes hidden behind stylish sunglasses. Koala beside him laughs, but he hears it in distance.

"Betty! Stop being an asshole!" someone from the crowd calls out to her, forcing Sanji to step in to protect the lady's dignity, though Koala holds him in place, shaking her head in 'better not' manner, as he notices belatedly; the lady on stage takes her glasses off to stare down the crowd and narrows her eyes threateningly at the big talker.

"Get your ass up here, Joe, then we'll talk" she replies with a bitchy grin. "Now, music!"

"My, my, Betty, stop causing such a ruckus" Ivankov emerges from the back rooms, now in full drag glory, as Sabo trails behind him—he immediately joins Koala by the bar counter, staring questioningly at her fingers, holding Sanji's shirt to prevent him from going.

She only nods to the stage and Sabo sighs in exhausted understanding, ordering a glass of whiskey.

"Ivankov!" a myriad of voices call out, and Sanji is kinda taken aback by the sheer amount of people who recognize his business partner—and of whom he had no idea.

This brings him back to reality, and he takes up on the order of Sabo, who's now by his wife's side, gently caressing the back of her palm. Sanji works on instincts and habits, eyes trained on the events on the dance floor, as he notices Inazuma joining the greeting spree, and he can't help but blink in surprise—being friends for so long, and he had been practically unaware of the real amount of people Ivankov and Inazuma know.

"You must be Sanji, right?" Sabo asks, taking his drink and a portion of attention—Sanji can multitask, watching the ladies and talking, he's good at that. "I'm Sabo, this is Koala, my wife"

"Oh, dear" Koala giggles, nudging him softly. "I was faster, so he already knows you're taken"

Sanji returns a smile she sends his way, though feels obliged to mention a thing, "Thank you for your concern, m'lady, but I don't swing that way"

"Oh, pity" her smile falters, as she turns to her husband. "He'd like him, don't you think?"

Sanji feels a pang of remorse and quilt, lying to the lady like that—or more like _omitting_ the truth, but his resolve has been firm all those years, and he's not gonna falter—Sanji's had enough guys to break his heart to ever try something again. Ladies, on the other hand, is a completely different case—Sanji would allow them to stomp all over his heart, and he'd be grateful they took their time to do it. Robin has always said he has certain self-destructive tendencies, but does he care? As long as a lady is happy with him, he'll be just as happy.

"Yeah, he sure would" Sabo replies, not caring to quiet down his voice, as if they are not talking about Sanji, who's very much fucking present. "So, Sanji, how did you meet Ivankov?"

The bartender stops, startled, as the question takes him aback, as people never question their friendship as much as they do the reason why he works behind the bar counter when he co-owns the club—Sanji finds himself a bit at loss for words, not knowing how to explain the circumstances of their meeting seven years ago in a random gay bar, where Sanji has been desperately trying to hook up to cope with his first break up and Ivankov, a local diva, has saved him from a notorious gigolo; and they're friends ever since.

"Uh, well, I—" Sanji starts a moment before the doors blast open again— _Jesus fucking_ _Christ_ , he is honest to god gonna kick someone into paying for new ones if this continues.

Sanji shoots a furious glance towards the entrance; there's a brown haired man in the front with a beaming smile, accentuating a scar under and over his left eye, who's shouting "What's a party without the party men!" and the rest of the crowd is echoing him with "We've brought the fiancés!"

Those who are already inside erupt with laughs and shouts, cheering for this new generous addition to the party, and Sanji notices at the edge of his sight how Sabo jumps to his feet, all curiosity left behind when he dashes towards the entrance, staggering two men in police uniform, who seem overwhelmed with everything around them—those probably are the fiancés Iva has talked about. He attentively looks around the crowd—with enough practice, and Sanji for sure has as much, one can discern the types of drinkers from their behavior to know beforehand what to expect when they approach the bar; he feels a rush of excitement when his eye catches a few ladies among the group, clad in tight navy blue skirts or slacks and celeste shirts. He's hit with an intense feeling of adoration and reverence for the women in power—ladies who can kick his ass always hit differently with him.

He takes some time to look around the guests thoroughly: one of the fiancés has this weird blond hair that sticks out like a pineapple, making Sanji quietly snort; the other guy is black haired and there is nothing _particularly_ special about him apart from his apparent love for revealing his chest—the way the shirt has been obviously unbuttoned during the day and not before entering the club is nothing but telling; others were _the sight_ too, but Sanji's eyes landed on the pair of siblings, if their facial resemblance were of any sign—both had long dark hair, though the brother had it tied up in a bun while the sister let it flow easily over her shoulders, it was very lovely to see. At some point, Sanji's sight has started to ripple with all that navy blue of the uniforms, so he has kinda focused on the ladies instead of everyone—he's managed to make out three more ladies, but for some reason one of them has been giving off this weird unsettling feeling in his gut that he's decided to investigate later.

Koala was sitting half turned to the whole thing, when Sanji returned his attention to her, and she had this little smile—the one you do without realizing it, when you're really comfortable and at ease.

"This is _just_ the beginning" she muttered affectionally—her words were clearly meant for Sanji, as she saluted him with her drink and took off to greet the fiancés.

A lady came up to Sanji's bar with a smile—it's one of the siblings that he's spotted earlier—and took the seat Koala had just emptied. "One Pornstar Martini, please"

"In a second, my flower" Sanji immediately replied, being sucked into this little bubble of himself and a lady that always appeared whenever he was directly communicating with a beautiful woman; he'd taken to the drink when his eye caught a narrowed in suspicion eyes, and he half-turned to her as if asking to elaborate.

"Have we met before?" she spoke up, eyeing him—he shook his head, because sadly, but they hadn't otherwise he'd remember someone as marvelous.

He then handed her the drink with a resigned "To my greatest chagrin, we haven't, my flower"

She only chuckled softly, sipping her cocktail, and complimenting the taste before explaining with a gentle smile, "You just called me a flower, and I kinda assumed. My name is Kikunojo, y'know, like the chrysanthemum"

"It's a very befitting name for a beauty such as yourself, miss" he replies with a playful smile, and winks at her—which is probably stupid, with his face half covered behind a fringe, but has he ever cared when it comes to flirting with ladies? The only thing that matters is the smile and happiness of the lady.

"Hitting on my sister?" Sanji suddenly notices a man across from Kikunojo—although they bear striking similarity between each other, Kikunojo is incomparably gentler and tender looking.

"Uh—" Sanji starts, thinking of how to tell the man to fuck off in a way that won't upset his sister, so that he can continue talking to her.

He's cut off with a laugh from both of them, as the man orders a glass of whiskey and replies, "Just joking. She's her own person, right, Kiku?"

Sanji eloquently rolls his eyes, and hands him the drink, as he hasn't had time to return the bottle to its place after Sabo.

"I'm Izo, by the way"

Sanji sighs, a bit exasperatedly and replies with his own name—not because he _wants_ , per se, but because it's basic human decency and politeness, and maybe, just maybe, because he wants to impress Kiku and invite her on a date after tonight, but he's definitely not telling.

Before long, the DJ appears on the stage and there's music, starting quietly from the loudspeakers, distracting Sanji—he looks around the crowd and sighs. He might have to go smoke right now, because it seems his hands will soon be full of orders, so he excuses himself from the bar, striding to the other side and gestures for his colleague to come over.

"Inazuma, cover" he says to his friend, showing a pack of cigarettes, knowing he will get the hint.

When the man asks why Sanji won't smoke inside, he gestures over to all of the ladies and tells him that passive smoking is the worst thing ever, and he wouldn't want to be the one to ruin their health—as Inazuma nods, he leaves the building through the front doors, too lazy to go in the backyard. He leans against the outer wall, lighting his cigarette and the same second he inhales the smoke, there is a loud screeching of tires against the asphalt—a _gorgeous_ black Ferrari makes its way into the parking lot with grace Sanji has never seen of a vehicle, as it maneuvers between the cars that are already parked. Sanji's eyes entranced with the way the car flows, as he reminisces of his teenage dreams of having a car of his own, but he has to remind himself that the priority is a _flat_ of his own, the reason he's been saving for so long.

What makes him lose his calm, though, is the fact that when the Ferrari finally parks, glistening under the setting sun's ruby rays, making the red outline pop out, it's two astoundingly beautiful women who leaves the vehicle: a ginger haired lady in a gorgeous red dress, that is revealing enough to set his mind racing, and a pink haired lady dressed in a tight little black cocktail dress, which makes her features shine heavenly. From that far he can make out the way their hairs are braided in complimentary ways though still mostly let loose and it flutters in this little breeze, making his heart go _whoop_ up to his throat from a mere observation.

They get closer a few seconds later, and he's hit with another wave of fluster—he _knows_ both women; the ginger haired one is actually a very popular TV host and a model, and he is embarrassed to not have recognized her immediately, for all he says he's number one fan of her, and the pink haired is easily the same lady he's encountered this very morning, when he has verbally assaulted his new neighbor—her boyfriend, no less. Oh, fuck. _Oh, fuck_.

She seems to have recognized him too, as the lady beams brightly and tugs on the forearm of her companion, prompting her to lean closer, and whispers something to her—the TV host laughs softly, and glances towards him. She might have told her that he has come to her house half naked and attacked her boyfriend, bringing shame on him in the eyes of the celebrity before he has even got to greet her properly—and it is all his own fault.

"Hey" the lady in black says, coming up to him with undying smile and stopping a few steps away, hands on her hips—and it's very cute, Sanji thinks. "I know you. You're Zoro's neighbor"

He looks at her, coughing up a response, before quickly apologizing and trying again, "Yes, m'lady. I'm Sanji. May I have the pleasure of learning your name?"

Sanji looks up at her, and he is mesmerized with her beautiful face—striking golden eyes pierce right through him, framed with long feathery lashes. She giggles, glancing towards her companion, and taps her fingers against her skin, which earns her a soft smile Sanji has never seen on the TV host's face—he finds himself enamored.

"I'm Perona, and this is Nami"

"Oh, _baby_ , I could've introduced myself" she smiles politely at him, while caressing the fingers of Perona on her forearm. "Though I have a feeling, I'm known here"

"Of course, miss Nami" Sanji shies at being addressed so directly, "I'm a big fan of yours"

Perona pouts at them both, nudging Nami's side in a playful manner—the way they are comfortable with each other just _screams_ long-term friendship, if not _relationship_. Though he doesn't remember 'girl-lover' being mentioned anywhere in Nami's social media, but you never know when it comes to one's sexuality, since it's not like he himself puts a neon lights banner over his own head with words 'bisexual', so it's stupid to assume other people would.

"Why is it you _always_ steal the spotlight, Mimi?" she whines, jokingly.

Nami laughs softly, murmuring something to Perona, which Sanji can't make out—he might have tried to listen closely, but that apparently isn't meant for his ears, so he gives up.

Instead, he smiles, butting the cigarette onto the wall and puts on a flirtatious smile, "Ah, my dear ladies, there's enough of me for each of you"

" _Casanova_ " they say in unison and crack a laugh.

Then Perona's smile falters a tad, "I doubt my girlfriend would appreciate this," as Nami immediately squeezes her hand with a "I told you already, she doesn't deserve you"

There's a staring competition between the ladies, but Sanji doesn't notice it, as he's lost in thoughts—isn't she that mosshead's girlfriend? He suddenly realizes he's blurted the question out loud, as both ladies laugh, hissing _'mosshead'_ under their breath—Sanji can't help but take pride in being the one to make them cheer up.

"Zoro's my brother" Perona manages mid-laugh, still wheezing at the way he addressed her, as he now knows, brother, "and _Ew_. I would never date a guy like him"

Nami doubles over in an uncontrolled laughter, which she fails to sustain. "Oh, poor Zoro"

Sanji looks around the ladies, happy with the way that little downer mood has disappeared—now that she has mentioned the sibling connection between them, he can really notice the relative resemblance between them; he couldn't in the morning, as Perona has only briefly appeared and he has been too enraptured by her overall beauty and too enraged with that mosshead to pin the similarities, not to mention their obviously different hairstyles with green moss and beautiful cotton candy. Sanji glances up and notices her golden eyes that he's admired earlier, and realizes that this is also one of the similarities between Zoro and Perona—well, at least with one of the man's eyes. It's kind of funny and dumb how he missed all that earlier and even made himself believe they were a couple.

"Anyway, what are _you_ doing here?" Perona recovers, narrowing her eyes at him.

Sanji gets confused for a second, then "This is, uh, my club?" he replies awkwardly.

Both girls go "ooh" in understanding, and before they consider him a liar when they inevitably see him behind a bar counter, he feels obligated to mention combining two jobs—just in case.

"I must admire such dedication to business" Nami nods respectfully—Sanji blushes—and then she turns to Perona, "Shall we go, baby?"

"Allow me to have the pleasure of walking you in?" Sanji offers, showing his arms to each lady—for a moment they share a look, and then take him by the elbows, giggling.

Once they enter the club, the ladies are immediately attacked with tens of voices, shouting "Nami" or "Perona", and then there is Koala running to jump-hug both—Sanji politely steps away, leaving the ladies to their shenanigans, as he makes his way towards his workplace.

"San-kyun! Where have you gone to! I've been looking for you" he gets intercepted by Ivankov on his way, as his partner wraps his arm around Sanji's waist, pulling him closer, which makes him roll his eyes in exasperation.

He tries to shake Iva's arm off, but it has never been a successful feat, because when he wants to cling to someone, there's nothing one can do about it, so he allows to be led around, as they move towards the service area of the club, and Sanji laments, "I don't have to report to you every time I go for smoke, y'know"

Ivankov pouts, "Ruthless" and they part by Sanji's bar counter—the ever beautiful Kiku is still there, almost done with her drink, and she salutes to him with her glass, and he rushes to make her a new one. Maybe Viola isn't there to brighten up his evening, but at least the lady-guests here is a great view.

"Hey, Kiku, Izo!" Sanji looks up to see one of the ladies he's noticed earlier, as she comes up to the bar and slams her hands on both of the siblings' shoulders.

They turn to her with mixed joy and exhaustion, rubbing their shoulders and whine out a "You're gonna break us one day, Yamato"; the impact apparently hurts a lot, and Sanji is only to admire the strength behind those arms. He hands Kiku her drink, smiling, and then turns to the new guest with a "How can I be of service to such a stunning lad—" which gets cut when a strong hand grabs him by the collar, yanking him closer—Kiku and Izo both sigh _'Oh, no'_ .

Sanji stares in surprise at the face twisted with anger, and he can't quite make out any reason behind that, until she speaks up, "What were you trying to say, _baby boy_?" Did you try to call me a lady?"

Whatever is happening keeps eluding Sanji's understanding, so he just nods—Sanji feels gentle fingers caress his palm, but he can't turn his hand to look at Kiku, as he is held tightly by the collar of his dark sapphire shirt, almost bent over the counter, as the only thing that supports him is his own arm, which Sanji has instinctively thrown out.

"Yamato, _please_ , you know not everyone knows about you" Izo sighs, placing his hand on Yamato's forearm.

Sanji hears a sigh, and then "I'm a man. For your fucking information"

He squints, not fully understanding the implication, and then Yamato continues, "Try calling me a woman one more time and I'll shape your pretty mug into this nice marble counter"

"You think my face is pretty?" Sanji reacts, making Yamato double take at him with a squint.

 _Oops, that was gay_ , Sanji realizes, and bites his tongue.

"Is he dumb?" Yamato turns to Kiku and Izo in order, and they shake their heads—how can they know, they've only just met him.

Sanji himself recovers pretty quickly, grabbing the hand that's holding him and firmly squeezes Yamato's hand, forcing it away—he will never fight against a lady, but as Yamato is a male, he has no reason to hold back.

"Are you here to order a drink or hit on me, dear shitty mister?" Sanji keeps squeezing the hand, until Yamato lets go, smiling, with a "You're a quick learner" and sits down beside Izo, "Yeah, make me an El Diablo"

Sanji takes up on the order, allowing a little smile to tug on his lips—he is not a bigot, for starters, and he is definitely better than those fucking homophobes and transphobes; he remembers them very well, as they have kept harassing him and Iva back when they have been trying to establish their first club, which sadly hasn't work out.

"I apologize for prior misgendering" he tells them, earning three surprised stares, as he hands Yamato his order. "I have assumed from your looks, my bad"

"You're surprisingly nice about it for a straight guy" Izo eyes him suspiciously, though Kiku chuckles—Sanji suspends the urge to correct him about his sexuality, 'cause he quickly reminds himself that it's better to let the assumption stay. After all, he's not available for men anymore.

"He works for Iva" a man, who Sanji remembers to be a part of the first wave of guests, "I doubt he'd hire anyone who's not accepting"

Sanji turns to him with a death glare, "Excuse _you_. I own this fucking club just as much" and when the man squints at him, not believing him, apparently, Sanji takes two steps towards him and slams a heel into the counter mere feet away from the guest, "So shut your fucking piehole"

"Wow, wow" the man backs away, throwing his hands up, "I didn't know, okay?"

Sanji retracts his leg, wiping the counter clean with a tissue, "Now you do, so get lost"

Yamato laughs deeply, sipping his drink, and then smacks his shoulder—now Sanji understands why Kiku and Izo have reacted that way, Yamato's friendly punch is fucking heavy. He prefers not to think about the earlier threat, now realizing the reality of it.

"I like you, what's your name?" he asks, saluting with his glass.

"Sanji" he waves off dismissively, returning to the shelf with all of the bottles, taking notes of the bottles that are running low on liquid, as he adds, "Thanks, but I'm not gay"

"Stop being rude to our guests!" Ivankov slaps his ass, creeping up behind him unnoticed, and Sanji yelps, surprised, and then shoves his partner to the side with a "Fuck off", but Ivankov hands him a list and sends him to the backyard, saying Jinbe has arrived with the delivery—Sanji nods, and excuses himself from the bar, receiving a gentle smile from Kiku and a friendly wave of a hand from Yamato.

Passing by Kurei, who was leaving the service rooms, Sanji decided to drag him along. As they exit through the back door, Sanji immediately takes out his pack of cigarettes, as he notices the big muscular man, leaning against the truck, and he salutes to him, "Hey, Jinbe"

Jinbe has been one of his long-term friends, as well as their alcohol supplier, as he is running a chain of liquid stores in their city. "I was expecting Aladine, since you're always fucking busy, but it's nice to see you, man"

"Same to you" Jinbe replies, offering a lighter to Sanji, and then lights his own cigarette, which makes Sanji squint at him with cynicism.

"That's awfully unexpected for a person who's spent a good chunk of our friendship telling me to quit smoking" Sanji nudges his friend with a fist, huffing a cloud of smoke at him.

Jinbe makes the scared eyes at him, and conspires "Don't tell Zeff. He's gonna whoop my ass for being an enabler"

"Like I'd care" Sanji laughs, thinking about his old man and how they've had a shit ton of arguments about his smoke addiction, which despite enormous amount of threats, have never ended with Zeff's victory.

"Three boxes of rum and a pack of syrups" Jinbe says, and it is according to the list Ivankov has given him.

Sanji goes around the sale deed, and then signs with his name, "I'll probably file in a big ass order after tonight. We've got a whole fucking police district here, and I'm not even sure it's the end of it"

Jinbe humphs, surprised and butts of his cigarette. "What are they celebrating?"

Sanji waves dismissively, as he doesn't really care as long as they pay—Ivankov has said that Sabo guy has signed a contract and every order today is on him.

"An engagement, I think" Kurei supplies, taking a moment off of his conversation with Macro.

"Ah, right, Sabo's brother" Sanji remembers with a squint, he doesn't really like to memorize anything connected to men, as he prefers to leave the entirety of his memory to facts about ladies.

Jinbe looks at him with surprise, "Is Koala there?"

Now it's Sanji's turn to be surprised—why is that all his friends know so many people that he has no idea of.

"Yeah, beautiful miss Koala is here" he immediately brightens up, thinking of a gorgeous ginger haired lady that has been his first customer tonight.

Jinbe laughs heartily, not a stranger to Sanji's preferences, "Uh, wish I could say hello to her, but we gotta go"

As they have unloaded the truck and bid their goodbyes, Sanji has taken on two rum boxes, leaving the rest to his colleague, and he leaves for the club when Jinbe's engine roars, and tires screech. The syrups and one pack of rum go to Inazuma's bar, while Sanji takes the rest, since he is the one to suffer the obvious shortage after yesterday's night. He looks around his bar counter, noticing the company of police officers that he's been interacting with has already left—Sanji doesn't hurry, taking his sweet time in unloading the boxes, wiping the bottles clean from the warehouse's dust. He goes around his bar, arranging the shelves to his liking and preparing for the drinking competition that usually goes with Kurei's performance, he has left for the dressing rooms already. There is a new pop song blaring from the speakers, and Sanji allows his hips to wiggle to the beat of it, tapping his toes against the counter.

"Hey?" there's a voice over the music, meaning it is _really_ close, and Sanji jolts up with the sheer unexpectedness of it.

He starts to turn around on his heels with a customer polite "Yes? What would you—" before he's cut with a shocked " _You?!_ " and it's only then he registers the owner of the voice.

 _His new fucking neighbor_.

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?!" he blurts, looking around the club and noticing quite a few new faces—he also makes out the girls he's met before, Nami and Perona, taking up on of the tables in the seating zone, surrounded by new men and Koala.

"It's my friends' party" the mosshead manages, still shocked, if his voice is any indication. "What the hell is up with _you_?"

Sanji looks him over, catching a good scope of the man's outfit—he has to admit, _very deeply_ inside himself, that the man looks very hot in that motorcycle-styled leather jacket, thrown over his shoulders, clad in a nice dark emerald shirt, unbuttoned down to his stomach and revealing another ragged scar across his chest, making Sanji wonder just how many of those the man has before he quickly shoves the thought very deeply into his subconscious. What's even more revealing, as Sanji's observation skills helpfully supplies, is the way his jeans just seem to hug exceptionally tight around his thighs, and he has to forcefully avert his eyes, looking back to the man's eyes. He is fucking grinning— _oh, fuck_ , so he has noticed the way Sanji's eyes have kinda devoured him.

"It's my club" he says simply before turning away, hiding both the way his cheeks tinted pink from embarrassment and how his eyes have lingered on the reflection of club's lights against the three golden pieces in the man's ear, that he hasn't noticed in the morning. Sanji hates to admit that it works _perfectly_ with the man's eyes—he mentally kicks himself, because he has promised himself to avoid men altogether, and this fucking neighbor, no matter how attractive _or_ hot, _or in Sanji's taste_ , won't become an exception to that rule, nuh-uh.

"Go to the other bar, I won't make you anything" Sanji dismisses him with a shake of his head, his back still turned to the man.

A few guests come up to the further side of the bar, and he makes his way there, taking a few orders—he loves the thrill of his work, when he has close to none free time, always mixing, always thinking about how to better decorate a drink. There's this dark and gloomy guy, who speaks hella quiet, especially with the blaring music—Sanji has to bend over the counter to hear him better, knowing that he is kind of exposing his ass, he just has to hope there is no one behind his back to stare at it, but for some reason he feels this is not the case.

And when he turns back, he only confirms his suspicion—the green haired bastard has sat down behind the counter and is now leaning on his elbows, staring directly at him with a shameless smirk. "Nice _legs_ " he comments smugly, when Sanji approaches him with a frown.

"Those legs will kick your fucking ass, if you keep staring" he warns, dusting off his jeans—there's not much of a reason for that, but he simply wants to accentuate his point.

Sanji then shoves the man off the table, wiping it with a tissue, even though it's obviously clean—what if that mosshead has left his sprouts and the marble will be engrossed in algae by the morning? He can't allow it.

"Kinky" the man replies, whistling, and his grin grows even wider, "I doubt you can take me in a fight, though"

Sanji stops for a second, levelling him with his stare. "Cocky much?"

The mosshead snorts, arching his brows, and then rolls his eyes, "One Tequila Sunrise and a Sangria"

"What in _'I won't make you anything'_ " Sanji has to double take on him, "did you _not_ understand?"

Zoro—as Sanji's mind helpfully supplies, a fact taken out of his earlier conversation with Perona—just looks at him and smiles like an idiot.

"That guy over there told me the same thing" he gestures over to where Inazuma has his hands busy with orders. "Or more like he's not making girl cocktails"

Sanji glances over to his colleague, and notices a smile in his trademark bitch manner, which helps him realize it has been done _on purpose_ —how the hell could he know? Sanji remembers not telling Iva or Inazuma about his neighbor appearance or _any_ fact about his morning encounter aside from being pissed about it. They can't have read him _that_ easily, setting everything up so that they interact—besides, what's the point in it anyway? Ivankov, better than anyone, knows Sanji is not gonna hit on _any_ man; it's been a promise he's made to himself and he's not planning on ruining it.

"Gonna make the order, or should I do it myself?" the mosshead grins at him, shifting his attention back to himself.

Sanji cocks a brow at him, tilting his head to the side—his hair falls loosely, uncovering his hidden eye just a little. "Bold of you to assume I'd let you in"

Zoro laughs—it's the same deep hearty laugh that he has taken a notice in the morning. "Like I need any invitation"

The man has the audacity to stand up and shift towards the end of the bar counter, the end where the door is located—Sanji curses under his breath, realizing that he's forgotten to lock it after bringing the boxes in, so he mirrors the man's movements, stopping in front of the entrance and blocking the way.

"One step and I'll kick your fine ass out of this establishment, mosshead" Sanji snarls, crossing his arms in front of his chest and he stares defiantly at the man—he gives his best to ignore another slip up of his tongue.

"Mossh—" he mumbles, touching his nape unconsciously, and then, having apparently grasped the meaning of the word, narrows his eyes at him—Sanji stares right back, ignoring the way his golden eyes are strikingly noticeable under the colorful lights of the club, and even the bleaker eye shines brightly, but then the man opens his mouth again, ruining the trance. " _You_ should talk, curly-brow"

Sanji feels his blood boil in his veins, as he clutches his fists and reminds himself very fervently that he is at work, and this is just another asshole customer that he has to deal with—how _dare_ he call him out on something that Sanji has _no_ way of changing? So _what_ if he's been born with weird eyebrows? Everyone in his immediate family has been, it's just some stupid genetic joke, and this goddamn mosshead has _no business_ pointing at it. Granted he only noticed it now, and not during their first meeting, because had he mentioned it in the morning, Sanji would, with all honesty, flipped his shit.

" _Apparently_ , the moss from your hair got into your brain, because I see no other reason as to why you would pick on my physiology," he replies in a sneer, and then adds, because he is a bitch like that, "if there even _is_ a brain, which I highly doubt"

Zoro just stares at him, dumbfounded, and Sanji wonders if he needs to spell it out for the man, but then he leans closer, narrowing his eyes and Sanji can't look away, pinned to the place by the intensity of Zoro's golden stare. The man parts his lips, carnivorously, and then—Sanji will justify in the courthouse with his hand on the Constitution that he _has not_ gulped down from the sudden proximity between them—then Zoro licks his upper lip, holding Sanji's stare. Something gleams under the bar and stage lights, making Sanji subconsciously lean in, squinting his eyes—whether his eyes deceived him or that green bastard had tongue piercing?

Zoro, of course, takes note of it, and widely grins, remarking "Curious much?" and then proudly sticks out his tongue as if on display—Sanji's throat suddenly goes dry.

He then steps away, locking the waist-high door to the bar, then turns on his heels, flipping Zoro off from behind, and decides to finish the cocktails from Zoro's order in hopes of getting rid of him as soon as possible. The man stands by the entrance, observing him work, which unnerves the hell out of Sanji—he opts to deliberately avoid turning to that side, using his natural agility to the maximum. When he's done with the order, he sets it on the counter to where the mosshead used to occupy a seat instead of handing it to him directly, and then he takes to the customers on the other side of the bar, flicking his hair back—it got a bit ruffled, with loose strands sticking out of his short low ponytail. He'd cut it to his comfortable length, but so far his favorite barber has gone abroad for a trip and he's a faithful guy.

"Are you wriggling your hips on purpose?" Caroline leans in, whispering conspiratorially to him at the far side of the bar, where he is wiping the counter clean after a customer. "That guy over there might just go drought by the sheer sight of your ass in those jeans"

Sanji shoots them an angry glare, "Fuck you maybe?"

Caroline only giggles, blowing him a kiss, "Don't miss my performance, _San-kyun_ " leaving for the little hallway behind his bar, which leads directly to the stage.

Minutes later Sanji's attention is diverted again, as Splash, one of the twin-waiters assigned to his bar, comes up to him, complaining about that one table over at the seating zone keeps requesting _Monkey 47 Distiller's Cut_ , and how no matter what he says, they ignore him. Sanji looks in the direction of Splash's hands, and registers the table to be the one where Nami and Perona are seated, along with a few unfamiliar men.

"I'll talk to them" Sanji tells his waiter, getting a relieved sigh in return.

Sanji braces himself for the inevitable confrontation at the door to the bar, but when he turns around, there is no one, and he exhales—one interaction less, maybe he won't be as pissed and will not probably end up kicking the asses of whoever is the persistent bastard—sans the ladies, of course. If it's the lady asking for the gin, he'll himself call up Jinbe and face repercussions later. He strides towards the seating zone, untying the waist-high apron, and as he approaches, he notices the ladies smiling at him—and a red haired scarred face starts whistling at him, causing Sanji to frown.

"Which one of you shitty bastards been harassing my waiter?" he asks, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets in a clear _no-shit-given_ manner, staring down the male half of the table.

The ladies start giggling among each other, glancing between the man and Sanji, and he's quite pleased with the attention—but unfortunately he has another objective right now.

"I am. And what will you do about it, blondie?" it's none other than the whistling redhead who replies, lunging forward with a challenge.

Sanji narrows his eyes at him, stepping closer and smacks his heel, clad in black shining derby shoes, to the back of the booth, threateningly close to the man's face—a black haired guy with weird tattoos all over his phalanxes slowly looks between Sanji's shin, uncovered by pulled back jeans, then his face, squinting with recognition, then he slowly stands up and leaves the booth, going to the other table.

"Kick your ass outta this fine establishment, _for starters_ " Sanji taunts, leaning on his leg with his elbow and towering over the sitting man.

The redhead follows his movements with a bit of a muted gaze, then clasps his hand around Sanji's shin—his motions are delayed and obviously weakened, as Sanji barely feels the squeeze, he almost retracts his leg, when some calloused olive-skinned hand grips around the scarred wrist and forces it away. Sanji follows the hand up to see unbuttoned cuffs of an emerald shirt—and he instantly knows, whose this hand is.

"Fuck off, Kid" Zoro speaks up, voice low enough to abuts on a growl—Sanji notices both cocktails that he's made earlier already set on the table, and he wonders at the rear of his mind when he has managed to do that without him noticing his approaching at all.

The red haired man snorts, "What? Protecting your new boyfriend?"

Sanji snaps his head at the man, shocked—meanwhile the booth goes completely silent in a span of a heartbeat.

"What the—" Sanji finally lowers his leg, stepping back, while Zoro circles him from behind, and steps in front, shielding him from the man that is obviously the one he's referred to as Kid.

Still unable to read the situation fully, Sanji tries to shove Zoro to the side to finish his conversation with the drunken customer—which might just lead to Kid being kicked out, but before he raises his hand to place it on Zoro's shoulder, Sanji feels a gentle hand on his forearm, tugging him away from the confrontation, and well, who is Sanji if he ever resists a lady?

"Stay out of it" Nami whispers to him, leaning closer, and Sanji falters and chokes, realizing just how close a lady, _and more so_ , a celebrity is to him.

Nami stands up, sipping her cocktail yet keeping her other hand on Sanji's forearm, as she raises her voice and looks Kid down with a scowl, "I advise you to shut up, Kid, because you _know_ I won't hesitate"

The red head follows after her, getting to his feet—now there are three of them standing, not counting Sanji, who's still trying to assess the situation having half a heart to be attentive to the men present rather than to women.

"And wha'd you do, Ginger?" Kid jeers, leaning over the table—Zoro throws his arm forward, stopping him mid-action. "Threaten to rip my piercing out like you did to him? What a pity _I don't have any_ "

Nami smiles, tilting her head to one side, and Sanji thinks he's in love with that smile, "You know, Kid, you might be Luffy's boyfriend, but if you want to bring up old brawls, I'm all up to set the shit straight"

"Nami, don't bother" Zoro speaks up, still holding Kid restrained with one hand—Sanji's gotta admire the strength, because Kid seems to be rather muscled, and even with drunkenness out of the equation, the mosshead is easily keeping him off with single-handedly.

Nami seethes with anger, it is easily read from the way she grips tightly on Sanji's forearm—he doesn't mind, of course—and he is torn between speaking up on behalf of the lady, but at the same time he understands having virtually zero knowledge about whatever the hell they are talking about; he doesn't want to make it worse for the ladies either.

"Mimi, please" it's Perona's turn to voice, apparently, as she stands up too, setting her cocktail aside, and when she turns to Kid, it's an expression of pure anger, " _Eustass_ , I don't see Killer trying to protect his own dignity. Why is it _always_ you, who gets shit-faced and starts the same fucking discourse all over again?"

Kid finally straightens, but he doesn't sit down, challenging everyone around him with sheer atmosphere. "Killer is not good with words. I'm speaking on his behalf"

"Then maybe you're better shut up on his behalf too" Zoro finishes—and there is this _menacing_ atmosphere around him, suffocating, much heavier than the ones that emit from the ladies, and Sanji feels excited shivers running down his spine. It's always thrilling to meet people who can bring new emotions out of him, and he hasn't had anyone to keep him on his toes ever since his teenage years.

Kid tries to charge into Zoro's general direction, "You fucker—" but he topples, as a long haired blond man that Sanji hasn't noticed at all, stands up and settles a firm hand on Kid's shoulder. At this point, Sanji notices half-consciously , there's only one person with their ass still glued to the seat—the man seems frightened shitless, eyes frantically moving between two sides of the conflict as his hand crawls towards Perona's cocktail.

"Kid. We've been over this" the blond says, calm and collected, if a tiny bit irritated—Sanji knows that tone well. "Zoro and I fucked _ten_ years ago"

Sanji senses his cheeks heat up and redden—it's _obviously_ something he shouldn't be around to hear, this company is already as weird as it gets, and he tries to leave, he does, but Nami's gentle palm is still tight against his skin, even though she might not realize it. It's _rude_ to shake a lady's hand off, so Sanji stays.

"You're still hurt, aren't you!" Kid exclaims loudly, though slurred, and the blonde's face—Sanji can only assume it is Killer they've talked about—scrunches with something unreadable, when he glances over to Zoro.

"I'm sorry, okay?" the man runs a hand over his face with an exasperated sigh—it's clear that he's repeated this phrase not once, and probably more than twice. "I'm sorry we didn't work out"

Killer rolls his eyes, as he replies, "I'm way over you, don't worry. I'd be a pitiful sucker to hope to get into your pants after ten years of neglect"

At the periphery of his sight, Sanji notices Perona stretch out a hand to protectively caress Zoro's bicep, as she bristles, "Then tell your idiot of a best friend to stop attacking my brother every time he gets a drop of alcohol. He _always_ ruins the party"

"That'd be for us to resolve" there's a new voice, a deep and rumbling one—the black haired man from before has returned, and there is another brunette with him, though shorter and with a funny scar under his left eye. He looks around attentively, then suddenly his eyes fall on Sanji.

"Who are you?" he cocks his head in surprise—everyone's attention is _immediately_ on Sanji, as if he's the odd one out here.

Which he actually is, he has to admit it.

"I, uh... Didn't mean to eavesdrop on the whole thing" he gestures over the commotion with his free hand, "but it's against my code as a gentleman to shake a lady's hand off"

Sanji politely nods to where his skin burns from the tight hold, and Nami immediately releases him, uttering apologies—he, of course, tells her not to worry, as he never takes offence from ladies.

"Then what are you doing here?" the shorty asks again, rounding the table, all while looking at Sanji suspiciously—he notices how Kid is being led outside by the tattooed guy and Killer.

"Initially, I just dropped by to say we didn't have the gin that asshole requested" Sanji finds himself explaining.

The man hums, now directly in front of him, staring Sanji head to toe. Something, apparently, clicks in his head, and he turns to Zoro with a beaming smile. "Zoro, is that him?"

The mosshead groans, slumping down to the recently emptied seat of Killer and covers his face with his palm—Sanji can't help but notice the blush quickly spreading to the man's ears. Sometimes he curses his exceptional observational skills and wishes to be just as oblivious as other people are. It's _easier_ this way.

"Lulu! How do you do that!" Perona laughs, following her brother's example—it's then she notices her drink being stolen and finished by the terrified guy, Sanji mentally notes to make her another one.

"You probably need to go with Law" Nami speaks up, yanking the brunette with a scar by the collar of his Hawaiian shirt—it's only then Sanji notices how weirdly the man is dressed, in comparison to the rest of the group. He even sports a fucking straw hat, hanging by a stylish string.

"He might be the brain of your trio, but you're the muscle"

"Yeah, I'll go talk to Kid" the man says, and everyone around them gasp in surprise—which confuses Sanji to hell. The man, meanwhile, leaves with a little jump to his pace, oblivious to everyone's amazement.

Sanji excuses himself amongst the rumble, bowing to the ladies and promising Perona to give her a new drink. A few customers are already waiting for him, and he gets to make their drinks before fulfilling his promise to Perona and sending it with Splash to their table. When Sanji looks up at the stage, he realizes that Caroline's performance is nearly ended, which means he's missed it completely—which in turn means they won't hesitate to rub it in into his face with twisted pleasure. Oh, he _so_ needs to smoke.

A movement on the dance floor catches Sanji's attention, and it's Splatter—exactly the one he needs—moving gracefully among the police uniforms; a few manage to grope him by his ass, the activity he meets with eagerness and a few hip bumps here and there, and Sanji mentally whistles—maybe there is someone who gets laid tonight, after all. He waves for the waiter to come closer and asks him to relay to Inazuma, who's' Splatter's bartender, that he's going to the back to smoke—the man nods, winking to Sanji and with an inviting wiggle of his hips he leaves to the other side.

Sanji retreats to the back yard, dismissing everyone on the way and he's clearly pissed—there are few who dares to approach him when he's like that, so he expects privacy and undisturbance; after all it's the back of the club and it's only accessible to the workers, who know him. Sanji shivers from the chill night air—he's left the building without any coat and now he wonders if he's gonna be lucky enough to not catch the hellish cold, for the second time in a day. The lighter too seems uncooperative, as Sanji flicks it a few times to no avail—only when he finally inhales the welcoming thick cloud of smoke, the back door slams open and he snaps his head to the sound, lips parting with a curse at the tip of his tongue.

"Hey"

Sanji registers the green under the dull light, and sighs—can he just stop following him already?

"What?" he barks, teeth biting on the filter of the cigarette.

"Sorry for that shit with Kid" Zoro nonchalantly leans his back onto the wall, a few steps away. "Didn't expect that"

Sanji lengthily exhales, unamused, a thin whiff of smoke trailing from his lips, as he turns to the man, "You came here just to tell me that shit?"

The mosshead falters for a moment, then laughs deeply, "Yeah. And get some air"

"Well, get it elsewhere, mosshead, I'm trying to calm down and not claw out your eyes here," Sanji grits, stepping away from the man and changes the hand with the cigarette, as he is freezing and his fingers are already trembling.

"Are you always such an asshole?" Zoro asks, and Sanji double takes on him, because— _is he for real?_ Out of them two it's Zoro who's more of an asshole, Sanji's just fucking tired.

"No. Just the days when a fucking neighbor" Sanji's teeth starts to clank, as he talks, "you, by the way, decides to deprive me of sleep, 'cause he thinks that _drilling_ is a fucking wonderful idea _at ten in the fucking morning_ "

The rest of the sentence comes in parts, as he clenches his jaw to stop it from chattering. Sanji puts the cig aside, throwing his head back and exhaling into the dark sky with exhaustion—why did he decide to settle this shit right here and right now? He looks at the man, ready to tell him to fuck off—Zoro's taken off his leather jacket and stepped closer to throw it over Sanji's shoulders. _What_ _?_

"Eh?" he cocks a brow at the man indignantly, who gestures to the air coming out in puffs of mist. "I don't need—"

"Take it" Zoro insists, "I've survived colder temperatures"

Sanji wants to be pissed at him, but the leather jacket does provide a level of warmth over his back, and these all is actually kind of _cute_? He tries not to think about Zoro being a gentleman, but it _is_ what he does to ladies as a certified gentleman. Though, Sanji thinks it's weird to be pampering a man; no one has ever done it to him.

"In my defense," Zoro crosses his arms on his chest, exhibiting the muscles, and Sanji averts his gaze, "I did try to tell Perona to not drill"

"And you expect me to believe, that such a delicate creature like your sister, was the one to use a fucking drill?"

"Well, yes?" Zoro says, clearly at a loss, "She's a designer. And, um... I'm bad with that shit, okay? I prefer cutting to penetrating"

Sanji barks loudly at that, snickering, "Oh, so you're the one to be penetrated then?"

" _What?!_ " Zoro coughs up—he clearly doesn't understand the joke at first, but when he does, he shoves Sanji into shoulder lightly. "Hey! Mind you, I'm the top"

"Figured as much," Sanji allows, laughing and taking a deep drag of his cigarette—before coughing up when Zoro asks his next question, and he can swear there is a weird underlying tint of hope in his voice.

"What about you?"

Sanji _does_ feel bad for lying, and especially for breaking that hope, "Nah, I'm ladies-only man now"

He has to bite his tongue, belatedly realizing his slip-up, but he hopes the man won't notice it as he doesn't seem to be a very observant one. By the way Zoo visibly deflates with "Oh", Sanji understands that he is right, though he feels a bit sorry—which is stupid, because he doesn't even know the man to feel this remorseful.

"Don't worry" he says consolingly, because he feels like he should mention it—after all, if Zoro acts as a gentleman to a man, maybe he's not so bad? "There's plenty guys back there"

Sanji nods to the club, as a blush appears on the mosshead's nose—he has to put extra effort to ignore the way it suits this muscled gorilla. He's promised to himself, okay? He doesn't like breaking promises.

"Okay, I'm going back" Sanji checks the time, butting the cigarette away, "You better not stay here alone. If Caroline finds out, you're as good as dead"

The man yeahs in agreement, and follows him inside—Sanji almost calms down, grinding his mental gears for the tasks at a hand, when he carelessly opens the door, not expecting anyone behind it and bumps right into Kurei, who is leaving for a cigarette. Sanji steps back without an extra thought, though he should've spared that second to remember there is Zoro behind him, because it's his chest he crashes into.

 _Fuck_.

Zoro seems to react on instincts alone, as he catches him by his waist—his hands appear to be so big his fingers almost touch Sanji's hips, which is _too_ close for comfort. He only yelps, surprised.

"Oh, Sanji, sorry. Didn't know you were having a moment here" Kurei, the motherfucker, has the audacity to smile cockily at him, glancing between the startled Sanji and the hands on his waist. "Don't worry, I'll go notify Inazuma to cover for you some more. You have fun there"

Sanji takes a moment to recover, ripping away from the bewildered Zoro's hold and dashing after his running away colleague, loudly promising him the hell's treatment. The bastard manages to get away, sliding past Sanji's bar to the back stage, sticking out his tongue at his boss. Sometimes Sanji forgets he is the actual authority here, with the way they all act friendly with each other—his breath is wobbly, when he finally leans on the door to the bar, glaring at the partying crowd. It takes a few moments for him to calm down, excitement from the run bleeding out with every shaky exhale, as he walks up to his workplace and grabs a bottle of tequila to pour himself a short. Sanji has a rather strict policy about drinking at work, but god knows he needs it right now—someone by the counter comments on his new style and Sanji swiftly drags the jacket off his shoulders, throwing it over a chair in embarrassment. He's almost forgot about Zoro's jacket—the mosshead is also nowhere to be seen for him to return the piece of clothing.

A quick glance over at the stage shows that everyone is enthralled with Ivankov's performance—which is not surprising, as his shows are usually the most attended ones. There are fewer people by the bar, which allows Sanji to pay some general attention to the stage, where his partner is setting up some stupid contest about how well the fiancés know each other—they both get up there, loudly cheered up by the crowd.

Watching it unfolding Sanji learns that both of the men work for the police, if only on different positions—Ace is actually their district's Superintendent whilst Marco is the Superintendent General directly under their country's National Police Agency head, Edward Newgate, which makes the pineapple blondie the head of Tokyo's Metropolitan Police. Sanji finds it hilarious how many people here are of high military ranking, who he might have met back when he still lived with his family. He is a little nervous of being recognized, but so far no one has approached him, which means he's probably safe.

As it turns out, Edward Newgate—this one Sanji remembers meeting when he's been a child—was supposed to come to this whole party too, along with his Senior Commissioner Kozuki Oden, though they had gotten their hands full with a commotion at another prefecture. Sanji listened to a few people by the bar commenting about how it wasn't another of Ace's brother's faults for a change of pace, as the man is apparently present in the club—though Sanji still has no idea who is that troublemaker, which he'd be better looking after to prevent any problems; if the guy has _this_ reputation among the police officers, Sanji's gotta be cautious of letting such a person close to his business.

A guest had averted his attention for a few minutes, and when he looked at the stage again, Ace was soundly asleep right where he was standing, forcing a bubble of laughter to rise up Sanji's throat—Marco had to take him off the stage bridal-style, because the man refused to wake up at any rate, making the crowd laugh. Not long after the majority of policemen started to slowly leave the club, because as Sanji'd learned from Yamato, who showed up at his bar for another drink, they all had to work tomorrow morning, including him and Izo, who dropped by a few minutes later—as both of the men left, only Kiku remained, 'cause she had a day off and, as she confided, his company was nice. Sanji's probably almost dropped the bottle he's been holding upon hearing that, though he's managed to keep his dignity in front of the lady.

He is full on mutually flirting with Kiku, when Zoro approaches him for the god knows which time this evening—can this mosshead just leave him alone, can't he? Why is that fucker so persistent? Sanji almost snaps with a curse at him, irritated from being distracted from a wonderful conversation, when instead of talking to Sanji, Zoro actually seats down beside Kiku, and they hug, greeting each other. He orders a glass of rum, as they go on about their conversation—Sanji in no way is eavesdropping on this whole company once _again_.

He only reacts when Zoro angrily smacks the counter, scolding him for being a nuisance to the lady, as Kiku gasps in surprise—Sanji almost turns to her to apologize of scaring her, when she catches his hand and looks up into his eyes with something akin to mischief, and speaks up, "Sanji, can I ask you for a favor?"

Sanji has been born to serve ladies, so he frantically nods, "Anything, my flower"

"Is there any place for my friend to sleep?" she gestures over to Zoro, who's staring anywhere but at Sanji, mumbling something along 'Oh, stop it, Kiku', but she continues, completely ignoring her friend and holds Sanji's gaze until he slowly nods, "You see, he's a dumbass who sleeps at odd hours and he's been up since five, and well..."

"Don't bother, curly-brow. I'll just go home, Kiku, see you at the gym" Zoro mutters, standing up to leave, but Kiku catches him by the wrist too, and her stare in mosshead's direction is heavy and it would pin Sanji to place, if it was directed at him—though it works on Zoro too, because he falters mid-step and slumps back.

"Zoro, you'll probably get lost on the way home and then Perona will worry" Kiku explains, letting go of Zoro's wrist, but not of Sanji's, "You know how she gets? Imagine if she tells Rear Admiral Dracule?"

This seems to convince him, as he sighs and runs a hand over his face, resigning to fate.

"So, Sanji?" Kiku prompts him, "Will you help me?"

"Of course, my flower! Anything to make you happy!" Sanji flusteredly touch her hand over his, and she smiles at him. "Follow me, mosshead"

Zoro huffs, irritated, but Sanji notices the way Kiku looks at him, and his resistance is limited, so he gets up and trails after Sanji, who's leaving to the service area of the club—once they are inside, Zoro stops him by his shoulder.

"Show me the way out" he says, though a little abashed, though his hand is firm on Sanji's shoulder. "I'll just go home without them"

Sanji shakes the grip off of his shoulder, turning around on his heels and stares directly at the man, who's scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

"You might be okay with misleading a lady, but I have promised miss Kiku to give you a place to sleep," Sanji explains as if to a child, "so you _will_ go to my office and sleep. Even if I have to drag you there kicking and screaming, and then lock you up"

"Hey" Zoro recoils, "I don't need your help"

Sanji stares wide-eyed at him, confused, but instead of replying, he squints, irritated and grabs the man by the collar of his shirt, hauling him along to his office—at some point he stops feeling resistance from Zoro, and it becomes a bit easier. When he's fiddling with his keys, tucked on the chain that he loves clinging to his waistband, Zoro stands beside the door, arms crossed and he _pouts_ like a fucking child, making Sanji chuckle out.

"So, tell me, what's so special about you?" Zoro looks at him baffled, and tilts his head to prompt Sanji to finish, which he does. "Why is that ladies vouch for you, mosshead?"

"Hell if I know, curly-brow" he replies, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Sanji finally unlocks his office, hurling Zoro inside before any of his staff notices, and turns on the lights, gesturing the man to take a seat on the couch—Ivankov has actually bought it for Sanji, because even if he rarely spends time in the office, when he does, he's there for many days in a row, not even caring to go home to have a good night sleep. He has a little camp-like kitchen for when he pulls hellish all-nighters, where he cooks for himself, and occasionally for other workers.

"A gay is a magnet for the ladies?" Sanji mumbles, and before the mosshead gets to reply, he waves at him. "Scratch that, I don't really care"

He might sound nonchalant, he practices that, but he really _does_ care—it just seems so easy to be a point of attention for ladies, even though he's obviously gay, when Sanji himself spends tremendous amount of time winning a lady's genuine drop of attention. Well, it's all his own fault, he supposes.

"You sleep there" Sanji says, with his back turned to Zoro, while he ruffles through stuff in his wardrobe—somewhere there he has put a little decorative pillow that Reiju has made for him, when they were kids, and a light cover blanket. "Take this. It might not seem chilly, but it's really easy to catch a cold, and I don't want to pay your fucking medical bills"

Zoro grunts, taking everything, and he mutters to the side, "JSDF takes care of that"

"Oh, so you're military?" Sanji blurts before he can bite his tongue to stop—yet again.

"Resigned" Zoro mentions matter-of-factly, and with a humph he removes his boots—heavy combat boots, as Sanji notices in surprise, but now it really shouldn't be all that extraordinary, if he's military.

Sanji checks his phone, and looks up to Zoro, who's already climbed the couch, "How much time do you need?"

"Thirty is enough"

He shoots the man a suspicious glance, but shrugs, setting a timer on his phone. "Be a good boy and wake up when I come get you"

"Oh, fuck off" Zoro bites, flipping him off.

Sanji nudges him with his phone instead—this makes Zoro turn around, annoyed, "Type in your number"

Zoro narrows his eyes at him, but does what he's told, and Sanji calls him, "This way you can text me when you wake up. Can't have you wandering around"

"I'm not a child to be picked up, y'know" the man comments, with his face turned to the back of the couch.

Sanji stops by the door, and looks at the man emphatically before turning the lights off, "Sure you're not. If I notice anything out of place and find out you were peeking around, I'm putting you into jail"

Zoro barks a laugh, "I'd watch you try"

Sanji returns to his bar, after having been delayed by a brief heads-up with Iva, and he finds Nami and Perona beside Kiku, and there is another, unfamiliar blond lady among them—they all chat happily between each other, which is a nice sight, making Sanji smile.

"Sanji, one Dry Martini for Kaya, a usual for me, one Bloody Mary for Perona and a Screwdriver for Nami" Kiku lists the order, beaming at him—Sanji swoons for a split second, the way he's been mutually flirting with her has been his highlight of the evening.

"Right away, my flower!" he shines at her, getting to work—he wishes he could tune out the conversation, but the ladies are _very_ close and he has nothing to distract him, as his hands move automatically.

"Rona, baby, listen to us for once!" Nami whines, hugging her friend by the waist. "There's _three_ of us, and we all agree that you should break up with Mikita"

Sanji notices the blond lady—Kaya, probably, as he knows every other name Kiku's listed—reaches up to Perona with her hand, squeezing her fingers. "I mean it, darling. She's no good for you, and she just proved it once again"

Perona seems to be deeply in her thoughts, as her face is completely unreadable from the side glances Sanji gives the group, but the way her cute lips tremble he understands that she's pretty close to breaking into tears—he hates when it happens, because no lady should cry of sadness, that's just plain wrong in his books. Sanji hands both Kaya and Kiku their drinks, and gets to make Perona's as fast as he can, it's the maximum he can do to help her now, as barging into a conversation he's clearly not a part of is below his gentleman standards.

"She never once treated you well" Kiku reasons, taking a generous sip of her drink and nodding to Sanji, "You're simply her way of getting acknowledged in higher circles. You know this too, because she tried to have her way with Zoro, but unlike you, he's completely gay and won't budge"

Perona sniffles, tears pooling at her beautiful golden—brighter than Zoro's—eyes, and Sanji feels his heart ache. He'd do anything to make the lady happy, but he's eternally helpless in this situation, because it's not his place to say. Sanji does what he can though—he puts extra effort to make Perona's cocktail as good as he can, which is considerably unmatched, as he's the holder of the winner's badge for a few bartender competitions.

"Baby," Nami coos, cupping Perona's face with her delicate hands—and it's the softest he's ever seen and heard the celebrity to be, "remember what Vivi told us? Mikita always wanted one thing and it is to be a renowned chocolatier, not happy in a relationship"

Sanji sets a glass of Bloody Mary on the table, and leaves to make the Screwdriver for Nami, as he processes the involuntarily received information—he knows which Vivi they are talking about, as she's a good friend of Rebecca, and she's foreign princess-turned-singer, getting tons of shows around the country. Sanji himself loves her music, her voice is extraordinary and otherworldly—he has to question, though, just how many famous people this company knows and how intersected their actual social groups are, since it's already a few names that have been thrown and acknowledged by him or someone he knows.

Sanji himself is not as detached from the higher up society as he'd wish to be, coming from the old blood noble family, though he would rather ignore that—he's decided to achieve everything he wants by himself, and not due to the blood that runs through his veins. Even so, he still has rather a few acquaintances on respectable positions, namely his best friend Robin, who's the head of Tokyo Metropolitan Board of Education, or Crocodile, the head of Bureau of Urban Development—though Robin doesn't really like the man, so Sanji does the same by association.

"I know, but—" Perona sobs quietly, and it breaks Sanji's heart for all the gentleman he is, he's currently helpless beyond himself, "b-but..."

"Do you love her?" Nami vocalizes, strict—Sanji would even say her voice is _harsh_ , as she sets away her just received Screwdriver. "Be honest"

Perona falls silent, contemplating her answer, and replies so quietly that Sanji almost missed it. "I don't know anymore"

It's Kaya, who stands up and launches with a soft hug at the crying lady, with Nami shortly behind—they gesture for Kiku to join them, which she does though maybe not as tight and close as other ladies. Sanji's heard enough, so he politely retires to the other side of the bar, where a lonely man with huge dreadlocks sits—he recognizes the guy who's been scared shitless during the confrontation with that red haired Kid.

"A short of vodka. Solid" he orders, and Sanji squints at him.

"Man, you don't look like you can hold your liquor very well" he replies, though maybe it's not his place to say—he's getting paid for making drinks, not for being a shrink.

"Right... A beer then" the man gives in, and that's actually more like his choice of drink—Sanji is _good_ at guessing people's drinking habits, you see. "I'm Usopp"

"Sanji" he replies and hands the man his drink.

They remain in silence as Sanji cleans the counter after the clients that have left already, and then Usopp speaks up, "It's so weird. Everyone is getting married"

"Isn't it good?" Sanji replies nonchalantly—he tries to not think about marriage, as he knows it's not for him; he loves all ladies of the world, and he doesn't want to be disappointing his wife for being a simp to every woman out there. But the concept is alluring, he has to admit.

"Yeah" the man replies, but his thoughts are obviously elsewhere.

Sanji doesn't care enough about males to ask any further, besides it is already past the time Zoro is supposed to wake up, and he still hasn't got any message—if that fucking mosshead is going around peeking at his office, Sanji is _so_ gonna serve him his goddamn fine ass, he'll be sorry he's got the idea in the first place.

"Rise and shine, moss nation" Sanji mercilessly kicks Zoro into his shin, after having the lights turned on and received no reaction whatsoever.

"What! Who—" the man jolts up, his eyes immediately alert and scanning the surroundings, as his left hand dashes to his right hip, though there is nothing to grab.

"Your worst nightmare" Sanji comments, lighting up his cigarette—he usually prefers to smoke into an opened window, but it's too much of a hassle now, so the air ventilation will have to suffice. "Now get your ass up"

"Oh, fuck you" the man replies, relaxing and slumping back onto the couch.

"No, thanks" Sanji sticks his tongue out at the man, which earns him a sincere exhausted eye roll. "By the way, though. I know it's not my place to say but miss Perona is crying by my counter right now—and as much as I'd like to console her, I have a nagging suspicion that the ladies there might rip my heart out"

And he'd let them, to be entirely honest.

Zoro is all but glares at him, " _I_ will rip your heart out if you make a move on my sister" he drawls, getting up from the couch, and continues, as he bends over to tie his combat boots, "Besides. This is probably about Mikita _again_ , and believe me, I've tried talking to her. God, I hate that bitch"

"Hey!" Sanji might not know the lady, but he's not gonna let this asshole insult her dignity. "Watch your fucking mouth"

Zoro flips him off, standing up and stretching, "Not scary, Casanova"

"Oh, so _you're_ the scary one, huh?" Sanji flicks cigarette's ash in his direction, letting out a trail of smoke, "Funny, you don't seem scary at all. If anything, you're as scary as a gym gorilla, and everyone knows they are nothing but bark"

"You wanna _go_?!" the man fires up, clenching his fists and narrowing his eyes at Sanji, "You're a puny civilian, I bet I can take you out with one punch"

Sanji's face splits into a cat-like grin, as he licks his lips, challenging Zoro with an arrogant stare, " _Try me_ "

The man launches first, swinging his clenched fist with precision, though considerably lacking on power—Sanji dodges without much sweat, sneering along the lines of "That all you got, _musclehead_?" as he spins on his heel and ducks out of the next upcoming punch with feline grace.

"Stop avoiding, take the punch like a man, _pussy_ " Zoro riles him up, now grinning too.

Sanji simply flips him off, swinging a lazy calf kick to put some distance between them, "When you get serious, I might consider this proposal" he retorts, and blocks a swing right after, throwing up his forearm to shield his head—he's exceptionally careful with using his hands to fight, never ever deigning to throw punches, even if he knows how to actually deliver one, courtesy of his bastard father's teaching.

When he was younger, he was very keen on becoming a chef, following in his mother's footsteps, and as he got old enough, his mother's old friend Zeff took him under his wing to teach—he was the one to tutor him into never using hands for anything traumatic, much less for combat. Sanji might not have become a full time chef, as his life has had a different path for him to follow, but the promise he's made with his mentor has stuck with him, and he prefers to exclude his hands from anything fight-related.

"Oh, you _want_ me to get serious?" Zoro taunts, side stepping to avoid a roundhouse kick—he throws the uppercut right after, but fortunately Sanji's seen that one coming, and he shifts his weight to jump back in time for his brawl partner to swoosh the air right in front of his face, instead of the knuckles colliding with his chin.

Sanji assesses the tight space of his office—clearly not designed to be a fighting zone, and realizes that if they keep _dancing_ like they do, _even_ with his famed agility, Sanji's gonna be cornered in no time, so he decides to take a shortcut to the door, ducking past Zoro. And he _almost_ manages it—if only for Zoro's combat instincts, as the man grabs him by the chain on his belt, catching him off guard and yanking him back against his own chest, simultaneously locking his wrists behind Sanji's back to seize them with one hand. Sanji would trash against the hold, but he doesn't want to damage his wrists yet again—the grip is strong and unyielding, so he stills, his back flush against Zoro's obviously strong chest, for the second time today, for fuck's sake, and Sanji takes a moment to contemplate his chances.

 _Bingo_.

He chuckles, confusing the hell out of Zoro, because he immediately goes "Huh?", as Sanji tilts his head backwards, onto the shoulder and meets the bright golden gaze, filled with excitement, before he cashes in his trump cars, pecking Zoro's cheek—with a split second of confusion, the hold weakens and Sanji successfully escapes, jumping to a safe distance and sticking his tongue out in victory.

"Unfair" Zoro whines, perplexed, though Sanji _swears_ he sees the blush on the man's nose.

Instead of replying or making any excuses, though, he only grins, bathing in his obvious win—it's _not_ like he uses this method every time he has to fight someone, he usually doesn't even get caught like that, but having analyzed the situation and his options, Sanji's thought to use the scarce knowledge of the man that he's been able to acquire during tonight, and it evidently pays off. It's also rather funny, but he tries to not give that thought much space.

"You were unfair too" Sanji repels, striding to the door and opening it to leave, though he stands by, waiting for Zoro. "Treating me like I'm some weakling"

Zoro whistles, amused, and says something too akin to "But you are", unnerving the hell out of Sanji in an instant. He scoffs "Ladies first" and without waiting for Zoro to reply, kicks him in the ass and out of his office, sending him stumbling a few steps forward.

"We'll see when I kick your goddamn ass in a _real_ fight" Sanji grits, slamming the door and locking it in fervent anger.

"It's a date then" Zoro snickers— _that fucker_.

"Like _hell_ " Sanji replies, forcing the cackling man out of the back rooms and into the main space of the club.

Shooing Zoro away with a few lazily thrown kicks and just as few just as lazily attempted grabs at his legs, Sanji returns to his bar, noticing how the ladies have left—he feels a bit disappointed at that; he'd want to chat them up, maybe make some more drinks for them, but instead he's been fooling around with a mosshead.

By six am there is a little amount of people on the dance floor, as the majority has either left or retired to the seating zone, crowding the booths and exhausting the waiters—their DJ sets the music set to a quiet and slow one, layering a quiet atmosphere around the club for the last hour before they're closed.

Sanji's delighted beyond himself, though, when Kiku approaches him, if a bit tiredly, and takes a seat at where he clears the glasses. He beams at her—it's always such a great feeling to be in a presence of a beautiful lady.

"You seem energetic" she allows a little smile to tug on her lips.

Sanji halts his task, setting the glasses and the wipe tissue aside, as he barely leans onto the counter—on a respectful yet pretty close proximity, though it doesn't look like Kiku minds him at all.

"Have you ever tried Inazuma's specials, my flower?"

She shakes her head, prompting him to continue, so he does.

"They get you through the night just fine," he laughs warmply—he's had a few during the night, even though he usually manages to survive on a single one.

The caffeine in his veins makes him a bit giddy and eager to do something to keep his hands occupied.

"On another topic, m'lady, will you bestow on me the pleasure of dancing with you?"

Kiku blushes shily, as she nods, and when he exites the bar and extends his hand to her, she takes it, giggling in an impossibly cute manner. Sanji guides her to the dance floor, and she follows; he then nods to the DJ who sets the slow dance to flow pleasantly above them. Kiku giggles again, and puts one of her hands on his shoulder as Sanji does on her waist, while the other joins with his—Kiku's a but taller than him, but he actually _loves_ it. They move slowly but gracefully, and more so skillfully to the beat of the music, matching each other's steps perfectly.

"You have a good skill in dancing," she remarks, easily following the pattern of a slow dance.

He smiles at her, "I've been brought up well. Besides, any man should know how to dance with a lady"

Kiku giggles at that, her laugh vibrating in the air around them—it's nice and it's very lovely, though Sanji tries to ignore the fact that it's just his usual excitement around ladies.

"You obviously live in a world with different men than I do" she confides, "no one knows how to dance. Well, except my brother, but he prefers not to"

Sanji leads her into an accurate and precise twirl, which she executes with heavenly grace, and as she returns into his embrace, he compliments her, "I must praise your wonderfull dancing skill, my darling"

"I've had some lessons too," she says, and now it's her turn to lead the dance—she steps into his personal space a bit more, and Sanji readily follows. "So, Sanji... Tell me more about yourself?"

He looks up at her, if a bit surprised and startled—he doesn't miss his steps anyway, but contemplates the answer; ladies have never asked much of him, usually opting to tell him about their interests and what they like—he, of course, has been listening to them with quiet adoration and endless gratitude for the time they've taken to be with him.

"Um... My beautiful Kiku, I lead a rather uneventful life," he opts for a little truth omission, which is not, technically, a lie—he doesn't feel _as_ bad about it, but still some. "I doubt it comes into any comparison with yours"

She laughs softly, returning the lead to Sanji, "Is it because I'm from the police?"

"This too, but a dazzling beauty such as you are is bound to live a great life," he admits, as he sends her into another twirl—slower this time, as the music is ending.

"You're a lady pleaser, aren't you?" she giggles, blushing a little—it pleases Sanji.

He smiles politely at her, finishing their dance with a few strong steps and a pose, and he confesses, "I am all but a humble servant of beautiful ladies, the goddesses of this unworthy planet"

Kiku's words are overwhelmed with a round of enthusiastic applause from the table zone, and he hears a few voices shouting their names, cheering—they exchange a mischief look and strike another pose and then bow to the audience, laughing.

"Give it up for our incredible owner, Vinsmoke Sanji, and his beautiful partner, Hanayanagi Kikunojo!" Iva announces from the stage, winking at them.

Sanji _hears_ his heart missing a beat when the entirety of the club falls silent for a split second—the cheers erupt back and much louder this time, and he tries his best to cover the way he's almost lost it at the mention of his family name. Ivankov knows very well how bad Sanji reacts to being aligned with his household, out of all his friends only Robin might know better, and it's mostly because she is Sanji's best friend for a _very_ long time—he's been distancing himself from his family as much as possible, even donning a pseudonim for the bartender contests—he can't quite change his last name on a whim, he doesn't want the trouble that inevitably comes with it.

Sanji just wants to be perceived as _Sanji_ , not as _The Third Son of Vinsmoke Judge_.

He leads kiku back to the bar, ignoring his shaking hands, and he tries his _hardest_ to not show it to her, as she sits down and leans onto her elbows, propelling a bit further—Sanji rounds the bar to the door, and hesitates a split second before coming in and joining her from the other side.

"So, you're of Vinsmokes?" she asks, checking her surroundings for anyone eavesdropping—there is no one.

"And you're of the famous Hanayanagi Dance Academy?" he replies a bit embarrassed, fearing how now that his heritage is known, she might see him as an arrogant noble brat—just like each of his brothers is.

Kiku gasps in surprise, "Oh? You know my father's school?"

Sanji allows his breath to steady—she doesn't seem to judge him or treat him any differently.

"Of course, my flower, everyone knows it" he admits, trying to get the warm and cosy feeling of their earlier flirting, "It makes the best dancers in our city. My friend is a big fan of it"

Sanji is not lying, though—Viola _does_ adore this school, despite being taught at a more European-oriented dance academy. Kiku smiles at him, a bit pleased, and asks him for her usual—the Pornstar Martini. Sanji's only happy to oblige.

"Your friend has a good taste," she giggles. "Though I'm not on a really good terms with my father. Neither is Izo"

Sanji ohhs, handing her the drink. "Same here"

"I've heard that Vinsmokes had five childern, but so far I've only managed to encounter four of them for different reasons. I assume the list is completed?"

Sanji shrugs nonchalantly, pouring himself a short of tequila—it's a serious breach in his policies to drink not once but _twice_ during his work, but he kicks the thought away, persuading himself that he's not breaking his promise, it's just the circumstances that call for a bit of drastic measures.

"Never been fond of them sans my sister" he tells her, downing the drink in one go, "I prefer to not call myself a Vinsmoke"

Kiku only nods, muttering "I see" and with that their awkward conversation dies down—for a change, Sanji doesn't mind the silence between him and a lady; he'd never be the one to force anything on a lady, and also he doesn't really want to discuss his family. There is a postponed fight with Ivankov, though, because he had no fucking business bringing it up _like that_. He just needs to hold onto his burning annoyance until they are closed—it's not very far anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated!♥
> 
> PS: A WHOLE FUCKING WEEK TO EDIT _ONE_ CHAPTER AND NOT ENOUGH SLEEP—
> 
> PPS: **A few important notices:**  
>  1\. I'm a fucking simp for Kiku, I love her so fucking much I can't.  
> 2\. Sanji is not as "perverted" as you might expect—he's just a colossal simp for girls, that is a sentiment we share LMAO  
> 3\. Yamato is trans male. He doesn't feel dysphoric with his body—yes, it is a case, I've literally asked my trans male friend and he's said it's okay. Yamato is a man. End of story.  
> 4\. Feel free to ask me about anything related to Japanese National Police Agency—I have a suspicion that by the end of the fic I'll become a specialist in either Japanese Self-Defense Forces or Japanese Administrative System as a whole. If I got anything wrong, PLEASE feel free to tell me, I'll change it. I heavily rely on English sources, only sometimes collate it to Japanese, as reading in JPN is still hella hard for me :(  
> 5\. I LOVE your comments, THANK you so much to everyone who takes their time to leave a comment ♥


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